Friday 31st December

What else can you do when life is unstable?

Ah, you lucky people - less than a fortnight since the last one and here's another fatfakir update for you. Not that this will be a particularly substantial update. I did actually write a lot for this update on my laptop, but then found that I didn't have a floppy disk to transfer it to and neither have I had chance to try out the Wi-Fi card near a hotspot, so I couldn't upload it either. So you'll have to put up with this, rather rushed, post till I get my act together.

This year, for the first time in a long time, I spent Christmas with my younger sister, Liz. I know I'm living with her at moment, but I could have gone elsewhere for the festive season. I did have offers you know! Anyway, I stayed in Nantwich and had a really good time. The kids (Daniel and William) scored it big time on the present front and I managed to do quite well out of it myself. I got a couple of "executive" toys, so you can expect me to be wasting time with those in the New Year rather than working. I also scored the complete series of The Office on DVD and a handful of Carry Ons (Spying, Screaming, Dick, Behind, Henry - all good stuff). Liz knocked up a substantial Christmas dinner and much fun was had by all. The boys got a PS2 from their Dad and I think I've probably played on it longest so far. Well, Simpson's Hit & Run is just so addictive. Mind you, I think Daniel will be getting a PS2 Memory card or two for his birthday - I hate having to start from the begininng every time... Anyway, just to get us truly in the festive mood even the weather joined in and it snowed on Christmas Day for the first time I can remember in a long time. And it wasn't just a light flurry, this was a good inch or so deep once it settled. Sadly it didn't really settle till late in the day so it wasn't till around 8pm that we got outside for a quick snowball fight and a test run for Daniels's new remote control all-terrain vehicle. I do have a couple of pictures of the snowfall, but again, they're on my laptop so you'll have to wait for those.

The other exciting thing I managed over the holiday period is to visit my old mate Kev in Grimsby. This involved a six-hour journey by the delights of public transport. I had to get a bus to Crewe, a train to Manchester Oxford Road, walk to Manchester Piccadilly, get a train to Scunthorpe and then a coach from Scunthorpe to Grimsby. It's not exactly the easiest of journeys in the best of circumstances but the addition of engineering works on the railway turned it into a bit of a nightmare. I really ought to learn to drive... Anyway, I arrived in Grim at about 2.30pm and it was straight in to the Yarborough Hotel for a couple of pints to refresh myself after the arduous journey and then a trip to the cash machine and a quick pint in Pepys Bar, which was as rough as it's always been. Then, after a quick spin round to Kev's house to drop off my bag and freshen up, it was back out for beer, nosh, beer and more beer. We revisited some of the places that we used to drink in when we were students (The Barge, Tap and Spile, Lloyds Arms, Lincoln Castle) and popped in the Walkabout, which is one of about a dozen new pubs that have appeared in Grimsby since I left. It might have been that we were in the wrong part of town but most of the pubs were quiet. Alright, it was mid-week, but we were virtually the only people in the Walkabout and the Lincoln Castle, and the pubs by the Walkabout were pretty empty too. Not that that stopped us from getting fairly well smashed. We ended up in the curry house after the pubs shut and carried on boozing in there. Not that that was a good idea - I fell asleep whilst we were waiting for a taxi. Surprisingly, I didn't feel too bad the next day although I did feel a bit queasy. However, a bit of a stroll down the promenade at Cleethorpes and a healthy fry-up did the trick and I started to feel almost normal again by the time I had to leave. Fortunately for me, this time I was only travelling as far as Doncaster, so didn't have to suffer too much on public transport.

And that's it for now - hope you all have a jolly New Year's Eve. Don't get too drunk celebrating the arbitrary changing of the date, will you? I'm off back to Nantwich later on today and may or may not be off round the town tonight, depending on what my sister is up to. And on Monday will finally get a chance to use my new season ticket for Crewe Alex as they host Preston North End. (I would have gone to see them at home against Burnley on Boxing Day but the snowfall led to the cancellation of that game.) My New Year's resolutions are to update this site more often and to find somewhere to live. What are yours?

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 19th December

According to Hoyle, all cards on the table

Well, less than week to go till Chrippy-Chrippy-Chrimbo and I'm as excited as something that isn't excited at all. For some reason I just don't feel very festive. I think it's probably because I've hardly had time to contemplate the forthcoming festive season and have only just got round to doing my Xmas shopping. Normally I spend about three or four Saturdays wandering round the shops and wondering what to buy and then get everything in a rush on Christmas Eve but this year I've been gadding about so much that I've not had time for the usual aimless browsing. Ah well, I'm sure I'll be more jolly by the end of the week.

I ought to be jolly - I've been out and about for the last few weeks, catching up with some old friends and making some new ones. A couple of weeks back I went down to Cambridge. On Saturday afternoon I met up with Tim, Julie and their family, Jack, Heather and their new sprog, Rebecca, Chris A and Chris W for a few drinks in the the Fort St George. Uncannily, they had an appropriate guest beer on. (Yep, I've just half-inched those links from Jack's site.) The afternoon-slash-evening was a lot of fun, catching up on old times, swapping the war stories of work, that sort of thing. There are a few pictures of this momentous event here. The following day (Sunday) I trekked out to the wilds of Suffolk for the christening of my good friend Richard's son, Jozef. The small village of Kirtling is served by a bus every Tuesday and Thursday so I had to get a taxi out there. Fortunately, Richard had provided some decent directions and when we did arrive in Kirtling and got a bit confused, there was a a man standing in the road, who gave us directions. The service, which was Roman Catholic, was not too long and (fortunately for me) didn't feature any hymn-singing. (Not that there's anything particularly wrong with hymn-singing, but I'm not much cop at it.) Then it was all back to Richard's for nosh, drinks and chats about obscure bands. It was all very enjoyable and I couldn't help feeling that may be I shouldn't have left it so long before going back down south. I'll have to fix up another tour of duty in the near future.

In an attempt to confuse as many people as possible, this month's lastfriday wasn't held on the last Friday of the month, as that would be New Years Eve, but on the 17th which was the last Friday before the festive season gets truly underway. I managed to make it to Burnz' place for a few pre-match drinks this time. There was time for a few beers, a blast of Nucleus Roots and a listen to a remixed 6ft Midget track. It was also an excellent opportunity to show off my new hobby - pipe smoking (more of which later). We arrived at the Civic late enough to have missed the pop-punk experience of MYBE, but not late enough for the local chavs to have gone to bed. There was at least thirty or forty of them hanging around outside. Fortunately the prescence of some beefy bouncers was enough to discourage them from making any trouble. I was called a "mosher" on the way in, which has to count as one of the most useless insults I've ever heard in my thirty-nine years on this planet. Certainly not one that called for any Lee Van Cleef-style pipe action before sorting out said lout. Shame. Anyway, second band on were the pop-party-punk antics of Chuck. Top entertainment from a great party band. Well worth checking out if they're playing anywhere near your area. (And I see they're playing in Manchester in January, so I might have to check it out.) Third act on the bill were Fights. Deservedly got a good reputation and they rocked da house. Last up were Rattlesnake Remedy, who are garnering a healthy following and some critical acclaim. I have to admit they're a bit too 80s Heavy Metal for my liking but they are good at what they do. Before the time ticked away too far, it was off to The Ferryboat Inn for a few late-night jars and the talking of large amounts of inconsequential tat. I staggered off home at about half two in the morning very much the worse for wear. Still, it was a very good night indeed. Happy Christmas you crazy guys!

As mentioned earlier I have taken up the filthy habit of pipe smoking. It's a hobby really and one that was inspired by my purchase of a comedy pipe whilst I was in Cambridge. I liked it so much I deicded I had to get a real one so I have. Unfortunately, as a bit of a smoking novice, I don't really have a clue what I'm doing and for the first few days I could only keep the thing lit for about thirty seconds at the most. I went through almost an entire box of matches one evening desperately relighting the blasted thing every minute or so. Well, I think I've got the hang of it now and can keep it going for a good three or four minutes. And the pipe. Oooh no, missus! Sadly no pictures are yet available of me in full smoking action, but there might be some in the New Year.

And speaking of the New Year, there may well be a few more frequent updates soon, as my brother Mark has lent me a laptop. I've just bought a Wi-Fi card for it so I'll be lugging it around Nantwich and Warrington trying to find any Wi-Fi hotspots for uploading my site updates. There are, of course, plenty of websites listing Wi-Fi hotspots but the nearest I've found are all in Crewe. Don't hold your breath waiting for these miraculously more frequent updates then - much as I'd like to I can't spend every night sat in a pub in Crewe just to surf the web...

Finally, as promised, click the link to find some pictures from my Grandpa's 90th birthday bash. I can't take any credit for them - they are all the work of my 10-year old nephew, Daniel. I just scanned them in and stuck them on the web for your delectation and delight. Or something.

I was going to mention my works Xmas party, but to be honest it's not that interesting. All the good stuff apparently happened when I was too drunk to remember.... The house band The Dawes (*groan*) were very entertaining and there was a free bar, which accounted for the general drunkenness. And I found out that one of my colleagues went to see Tom Waits twice on his recent tour - he stumped up the dosh to buy tickets on eBay for both the London and Berlin gigs. And he saw him in London in 1987 too. I can't tell you how jealous I was to hear that. Ooh, the pain! It's OK, I'm not bitter....

And that's it. I'm out of here. I've got loads of files to transfer to my new laptop, a bunch of presents to buy and wrap and a whole load of other things to be getting on with. And it's nearly lunchtime. I'm sure there's a few things I've forgotten to waffle on about, but that's life. Until the next time - enjoy the festive season and don't overdo it on the port and mince pies. Toodle pip!

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 28th November

An alarm bell ringing

End of the month so time for another sporadic update, although I suppose if the updates are always at the end of the month they're not really 'sporadic' but more 'infrequent'. And despite the gap of four weeks since the last update, I'm struggling to think of anything original to say.

Still, I've never let that stop me before, so let's get the most recent stuff out of the way first. Today (Sunday) there was a gathering of the clan Lawrence to celebrate Grandpa Coe's 90th Birthday. (Before you start - he's my Mum's Dad, hence the different name.) It was also my nephew William's birthday (he's not 90 though) so it was a double celebration really but, as William has a lot of birthdays to look forward to, the focus was on Grandpa. Rather than host a house party or anything we all went out for lunch. My older brother, Mark, and his partner Kate came down from Leeds and there was a rare guest appearance from my younger brother Eddy. Yep, the notoriously unreliable Eddy even managed to get there. On time and everything. Grandpa had a good time and seemed to be putting his food away with relish despite his earlier protestations that he'd lost his appetite. It was good to see the old boy enjoying himself. I did take my digital camera to get a few pictures but in typical Jim-fashion it packed up after only three shots. I'd had the feeling I ought to put new batteries in it but it seemed OK when I tried it out in the morning. D'Oh! Oh well you'll just have to wait till I can scan in some of me nephew's photos in instead.

As usual Friday night was spent at lastfriday but due to some "comedy" capers (setting off two hours late, a four and a half hour journey cross-country and then waiting for a non-existent bus from Conisbrough) I didn't get there till nearly half past eight. As a result I missed out on the pre-match drinks (Apologies to Burnz and Burnz' Mam - hope you didn't really tidy up on my behalf) and also missed Fire Escape Routine. So first up for me were Atraiou - a local band building an impressive reputation built on solid riffing and well-crafted rock. Plus the fact that the lead guitarist looks like Jack Black. Their multi-layered stuff sounded pretty good liveand will probably sound pretty good on record, but I can't help thinking the success of another band called Atreyu might prove a hindrance. Mind you, I don't think they were impressed by my suggestion that they should change their name to Tenayshus D... They were followed by Defenestration - a metal-screamo band with a solid reputation and an impressive list of past gigs. This was the penultimate date on their farewell tour. Apart from wondering if the female singer "makes those noises in bed", my overwhelming feeling was that listening to this made me realise just how good No Names Mentioned were. Not long after they'd finished a bout of chav-related aggro broke out and in the confusion that followed I didn't see headline act Mendeed at all. Arse. As a result of the fracas I wasn't up for the planned post-match drinks either, so more apologies to Burnz and his mam - I'll be round for the Xmas gig though and I've booked the day off so perhaps we might finally get that pre-match drink...

Whilst there are drawbacks of living a fair distance from work, one of the big pluses has been that I've been able to get along to see my favourite football team - Crewe Alexandra - on a much more regular basis than has been the case in previous years. I've been to more home games so far this season than I've managed in the previous half-a-dozen. Admittedly, I haven't been living less than five miles from the stadium since about 1987, so that's tended to limit my attendance. Yeah, part-time supporter, that's me. But I've been a long-term part-timer - I remember the days of the old Fourth Division, attendances of around 1,000 and dismal 0-0 draws against the likes of Rochdale and Hartlepool, although I'm blowed if I can tell you who was manager before 'Super' Dario Gradi. Anyway, I seem to have acquired a "lucky" shirt. And apart from the fact that I'm lucky I can get a shirt to fit me these days, it's been there to see more than it's fair share of wins and draws. In fact, apart from the expected defeat to Manchester United in the Carling Cup, it's seen only seen wins and draws. The lucky streak started with a 3-0 win against Watford, followed that up with a 3-1 win against Brighton, the defeat to ManYoo, a 2-2 draw against Leicester (on my birthday) and last week's 4-1 win against Gillingham. The disappointment of only managing a draw against Leicester was alleviated by the fact that my sister got the Crewe stadium announcer to send me birthday wishes during the pre-match announcements. Yay! Cheers Liz! Anyway, having looked at the fixture list, my shirt probably won't be doing duty again till Boxing Day as I'm away for the next three weekends. Sorry about that Crewe fans. And if you happen to support a team that's coming to Crewe after Xmas, it's no good trying to bribe me not wear it. Although you can try if you like.

Usually at about this point I waffle on about what CDs/DVDs/videos/inconsequential shite that I've acquired in the last month but you're probably getting bored of my displays of materialism and wondering why I'm not addressing the bigger issues such as the US Election, the encroachments on civil liberties threatened by recent Parliamentary Acts or a feasible solution to the Middle East problem. Well, to be honest, if I was updating a bit more regularly I might, but I'm not, so I don't. So there. Anyway, I have acquired another stack of CDs all of which are by or feature bands that just about nobody but me, my mate e-laine and half-a-dozen other hardy souls have probably heard of. Let's just say that it's a big thumbs up this month to Bad Brains, Napalm Death, The Chameleons, The King and Hellcat Records (for their excellent Give 'Em The Boot compilations) a mixed reception for Trustkill Records sampler and a definite thumbs down for The Smiths tribute album on Sore Point Records. and it's a double thumbs up (Paul MacCartney-style) for Simon Goddard's excellent book The Songs That Saved Your Life which gives you all the information you could possibly need about all the songs The Smiths ever wrote. If you want to get it, make sure you get the revised edition (like what I have) as this includes loads of extra stuff from Johnny Marr. Highly recommended.

One thing I've learned is that if you want to entertain young children during a car journey you can't go far wrong, by singing alternate lyrics to whatever popular tune happens to be on the radio. The kids' favourite of the moment is my take on Anastacia's 'Sick and Tired'. Apart from corrupting the opening line to 'My ass is on the line' I mangled that chap's "gwarly warly" lines to: "You're standing there all girly-girly/I'm sitting here with me Curly Wurly". Well, they'll laugh at anything. I did have a notion to put down a few more of my alternate lyrics but unfortunately time has mitigated against it. I could, of course, have just claimed that I'd misheard the original lyrics but let's face it there are more than enough websites dedicated to that "phenomenom".

And sadly, I'm spent. Time and tide wait for no man and I've got to upload this, check it's OK, correct any errors and get my stuff ready for an early start in the morning and it's way past 10pm now. Guess I'll be trying to get a kip on the train then. There'll be an earlier update next month, possibly including photos from my trip to Cambridge, the works Xmas party and lastfriday, but don't hold your breath.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 31st October

Nestling in green nowhere

Hhhm, where to start? There's a few things to write about, as usual, but I'm not sure what order to put it all in. I think I'll start with everyone's favourite subject - BEER!!!! (Alright, it's my favourite subject.) Quite coincidentally, me old mucker e-laine sent me a link to this small, specialist, beer shop in Nantwich. I say coincidentally because I'd actually visited said beer shop (Barleycorns) a few days before and purchased a selection of beers for a Saturday night taste-arama. And here's a brief rundown, with a few tasting comments. (Yes, I was sad enough to make notes whilst I was drinking..)

• Schlenkerla Rauchbier - I remembered this one vaguely from various trips to the Cambridge Beer Festival and as soon as I opened it I realised why. It's distinct aroma gave it away - it's the old smoked beer. Made by smoking the malt before brewing, once tasted it's never forgotten. It's lovely and at 5.1% ABV one to be savoured rather than chugged. And there's the Schlenkerla website if you want to know more.
• Erdinger WeissBier - another one with their own website, which is a great idea if you ask me. A light, slightly cloudy wheat beer from the world's larget wheat beer brewery. Not as defiantly cloudy as Hoegaarden but all the better for it. 5.3% ABV but lacking the bite of a lager this is the sort of thing you could knock back three or four bottles of quite easily.
• Kaiserdom Pilsener Extra Dry - this definitely lives up to its name. A beer that sucks the moisture out of your mouth. That said, it's only 4.9% ABV so the trick is obviously done during the brewing process rather than just assaulting you with a high alcohol content. I checked out their website but it's all in German, and whilst I can make out some of it my schoolboy German isn't up to managing the intricacies of the brewing process. Anyway, it's rather nice (the beer, that is) and has none of the chemical aftertaste of your usual Brit-brewed crap.
• Herold Bohemian Golden Lager - A lovely traditional Czech lager with a nice light colour and taste. More bite than the Kaiserdom and a more hoppy taste. 5.1% ABV and a world away from the draught piss available in your local boozer. If you see this anywhere, buy it. You won't be disappointed.
• Herold Bohemian Black Lager - A new one on me this black lager. Not totally black but rather a very dark ruby-red. A lovely chocolate-y taste with a slightly bitter aftertaste. 5.2% ABV and my favourite beer of the evening. I could hapily drink this one for the rest of my life.

As part of the Saturday night taste-arama, you may be interested to know that the beer was accompanied by some McCoy's Flame-Grilled Steak Flavour crips and performed whilst watching Repo Man and Series 7: The Contenders. I'd forgotten just how great a film Repo Man is - Harry Dean Stanton, The Circle Jerks as a nightclub band, an Iggy Pop theme tune and The Untouchables as a scooter gang, plus Emilio Estevez being quite good and one way-out ending. Series 7 probably suffered in comparison. It was alright but I wouldn't choose to watch again in a hurry.The pseudo-game show thing didn't really work too well for me and for a look at a camera crew following someone killing other people you're better off watching Man Bites Dog.

Socks, rugs and sausage roll.Yep, it's time for the monthly lastfriday review. Except this time it's going to be short and sweet. Mainly because I'm afraid I got verrry, verry drunk. It was all the fault of them pesky 6ft Midget guys, honest. (Mind you, I got my own back by not turning out to see them play last night. I was feeling too rough.) I can only vaguely recall D-Rail (pop-up heavy site) and P>S>P. Which is a bit frustrating as I'd heard P>S>P were very good and I know that D-Rail are excellent live. Still, I do remember the two preceding bands. The Miramar Disaster were second on the bill. I thought they were OK although the songs seemed frustratingly short on melodies and hooks. Perhaps that was a consequence of the sound mix. They were a bit less heavy than I'd expected too - I certainly wouldn't have called them 'sludgecore' on that performance. Moving on - opening the proceedings tonight were Here Is The List of Your Dead Friends, who have risen from the ashes of No Names Mentioned. The mighty NNM were a pretty phenomenal live act so I was expecting good things from these guys. They put on a great show and certainly got the crowd moving, if only to dodge out of the way of a swinging guitar or two, but something didn't seem quite right to me. It was like they weren't quite the sum of their parts, if you know what I mean. Maybe it was the venue, the sound, the dynamics of the band or the songs themselves but there just seemed to be a bit of a spark missing. That indefinable "something" that separates the good from the great. Perhaps it's too early to judge. I'll put it down as a bad day at the office and drag my lardy arse out to see them again.

On a lighter note, so to speak, here's a comedy picture courtesy of the Dearne Valley Weekender - the free paper for the Conisbrough/Mexborough area. It's the Duchess of Gloucester opening the Dental Centre at the Montagu Hospital. It looks like the dental centre isn't the only thing she's opened....

Here's a thing. How come the blessed Repo Man and the not-so-blessed Series 7 are rated 18, yet the Ring trilogy (which I picked up on DVD for a mere twenty of your Earth quids) are all rated 15? That don't make no sense to me. It's OK for the under 18s to scare themselves witless watching Japanese horror yet they can't watch the considerably less scary but infinitely more sweary Repo Man? Strange.

Thinking of Japanese Horror films, one of the gems that I acquired recently was The Grudge. Like Ring, it's low on gore but long on creepiness. I watched it alone one night and had a disturbed night's sleep afterwards. In the Hollywood tradition they've remade it, although it's been directed by the same guy and produced by Sam Raimi so there's a fair chance that it's true to the original. Can't imagine Sarah Michelle Gellar getting bumped off though. I'll have to find time to see it at the cinema if I can.

Excited by your job? Enjoy the work? Looking for more responsibility and a favourable annual appraisal? I'm here to give you the benefit of my years of experience and tell you the five things not to do to ensure that you get ahead in the office rat race.

1. Don't turn up drunk. Fairly obvious really. There are occasions when it's acceptable to be slightly under the influence at work and a hangover at work is tolerable if you can be productive. Rolling into work after an all-night bender and a whisky breakfast is not. I won't make that mistake again.
2. Don't make your colleagues cry. Not even the ones who deserve it. Ah, it's easily done - a bit of misjudged banter, an inappropriate joke at their expense, a well-aimed barb at their apparent inability to complete the simplest of tasks and suddenly it's time to put the kettle on and indulge in some serious backpedalling. Even worse when it's your boss you've upset. Oops, there goes my Christmas bonus....
3. Don't scare your boss with your evil laugh. We all love it when a plan comes together but try not to go over the top by laughing like some sort of crazed evil genius. And refrain from accompanying said loud and long "Mmwwaahaahaahaa-ing" with phrases like "Soon the world shall see my powers!" Especially not in an open-plan office with your senior management sitting no more than twelve feet away.
4. If your boss is learning a second language, don't mock their accent. Remember, your one-week exchange trip to France or Germany may have be a great learning experience as part of your childhood but it hardly qualifies you for the job of head coach at Linguaphone. Plus you're likely to get found out during that day trip to Calais when you find yourself having to explain to the non-Anglophone Gendarmerie that you and your colleagues were simply indulging in a bit of horseplay and meant no disrespect to the good citizens of France....
5. Ambition is good. Naked ambition is not. You might want your boss's job, but try not to make it too obvious. Constant undermining them to senior management just makes you look bad. If anything, they'll have more sympathy for whoever has to manage you, with your attitude and persistent carping. Softly, softly, catchee monkey.

And there you have it - five simple things to remember on the days when you'd rather be having your fingernails pulled out with pliers than be at work. Who says I never tell you anything useful? Oh, right. Fair point.

I've bought more CDs than you can shake a shitty stick at in the last month or so. Well, a guy's got to have a hobby and I haven't got Internet access at home at the moment. They've mostly been excellent but with one or two clunkers in there. Most obvious clunker is REM's 'Around The Sun'. I'll admit that it has started to grow on me a bit after repeated plays but it's a pretty downbeat record. Probably their bleakest since 'Up' and certainly the least accessible since then. The Beastie Boys' 'To The Five Boroughs' is a bit disappointing too. It's not a bad album but if you've got more than one of their other albums you'll probably have heard some of these tunes before. And in a fine example of how memory plays tricks I picked up Human League's early 'Travelogue' album recalling how excellent and groundbreaking it was at the time. Now it sounds a bit thin on tunes and rather dull in comparison to the earlier 'Reproduction' which I bought at the same time.

On the other hand I've also picked some fabulous records that I think everyone should own. Starting with the most off-the-wall - Vivian Stanshall's 'Sir Henry at Rawlinson End'. A bizarre rambling narrative interspersed with comic songs, this is the stuff for which Stanshall is rightly famous. Appearing normal by comparison William Shatner's 'Has Been' is a revelation. We're all familiar with his singing "style" but here he's surrounded by a coterie of sympathetic musicians who work with his limitations rather than against them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but when it all comes together as on 'Common People' and 'You're Gonna Die' and 'Real' it's quite spectacular. Last of the great albums is Tom Waits' 'Real Gone'. Abandoning the keyboards for this album, it's actually no great change in direction given the number of guitar-based tracks he's done before. This is like an assemblage of those tracks reshuffled and re-worked and twisted into new shapes. All the things you'd expect from Waits and brilliant.

Finally, to bring things full circle, my old pal e-laine, who sent me the link to the beer shop at the top of this entry, also sent me his First Five, which actually turns out to be a First Six if you count the CD single. Anyway, here it is in all it's unexpurgated glory.

• Single - Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star. Bought in Boots in Boston (apologies for the alliteration). My older cousin bought All Night Long by Rainbow at the same time, shortly after we caught a mate of his buying the Boney M LP. The memories come flooding back. The Buggles song was the first video on MTV, but of course you knew that.
• LP - Meatloaf - Dead Ringer. My descent into rock begins here. Overweight, overblown, bombastic, pompous... but enough about me. It may have been Cher in the video that tipped it but I remember convincing my parents in Argos in Leeds that this was the record that I wanted. Little did I know that a few years later they would be playing it more than I would.
• CD - Sid & Nancy Soundtrack - 99p in the post office near my Nanna's flat. Tracks by the Circle Jerks & Joe Strummer (I think) swung it, as well as the price. I did not own a CD player at the time but thought, "I can get a mate to tape it".
• CD Single (bought at the same time) The Cure - Pictures Of You - 99p same time same place.
• Video - U2 - Under A Blood Red Sky (Live at Red Rocks) - Getting into U2, I saw this cheap and thought I'd give it a go. If I could find it I might still play this, as it is one of the few videos I own that my wife would not object to (Insert your own joke here).
• DVD - Tool - Salival. The videos for Prison Sex, Stinkfist, Sober, Aenima, etc. with a live CD as well. Tool are one of my favourite bands and rather than wait for them to come around in the rotation between the nu-metal dross on MTV I thougth I would buy this. I know that your sister and her family think that Tool's videos are depressing, which is understandable as they are not the brightest, most colourful shots on MTV, but they are thought-provoking. The video for Hush is superb. The point of the song is made brilliantly.

I now have this enduring mental image of e-laine in his pixie boots and grandad shirt, with a bit of a mullet, getting on down to the groovy sounds of pompous stadium rockers U2. Priceless.

Go on, stick your oar in: