Sunday 17th July

In the stream that clears your head

I've been here, I've been there, I seem to have been every-flipping-where this past month or so. And I seem to have bought a pile of CDs or some other toss from just about everywhere I've been. Well, maybe that's not strictly true but I do seem to have bought an inordinate number of records over the last month. Anyway, more of those later, first my reason for travelling...

Last September/October time REM announced a series of gigs in the UK as part of their world tour supporting their latest album (the somewhat underwhelming 'Around The Sun'). At about the same time Tom Waits announced has doing one gig in London - his first since 1987. I failed to get a ticket for Tom so over-compensated by booking to see REM several times. This much you all know. The second gig of my mini-tour was at Old Trafford Cricket Ground. I managed to persuade my boss, Miriam, to give me a lift into Manchester after work. I checked into my hotel, freshened up, put on my Truckfest t-shirt and headed out to see them. I managed to arrive at the ground late enough to miss support acts Idlewild and The Zutons but, unfortunately, third support act Feeder were still on. Rather than listen to those Welsh windbags I wandered off in search of food and beer. The only stand that didn't have a huge queue was the milkshake stand, so I grabbed a strawberry milkshake and joined a queue for an over-priced hotdog. Then I joined the queue for beers - an experience I didn't fancy repeating so I bought as many beers as I could carry (4) and made my way into the arena. It was packed. And hot. I managed to find myself a space just to the left of the sound desk. The view was pretty good and the sound too, but for some reason I didn't really enjoy this gig. Maybe it was the long queues, maybe it was the sheer number of people around me, maybe it was because I was still hungry or perhaps just because my knees and back started giving me gyp from about 9.30pm...Anyway, their set was solid enough - there were a few changes from the Wednesday night gig, though. The running order was slightly changed and we got Driver 8, Wanderlust and I Wanted To Be Wrong in the main set and These Days and Leave in the encore with Final Straw, Rockville and Perfect Circle being the songs not played. I had the usual fun getting back to Manchester city centre on the tram afterwards, which didn't lift my mood. A couple of pints in the hotel bar and it was off to bed. Not the best of experiences, to be honest, which probably explains why I spent a fortune on CDs the following day...

Anyway, long weeks passed, July came at last, and I was off for a double-header - REM in Hull on Tuesday night followed by REM in Nottingham on the Wednesday. Given my experiences at Old Trafford I was a bit hesitant about what to expect but I knew that on the Tuesday, I'd be meeting up with me old mate, Kev, so even if the gig wasn't that good we'd be able to have a few beers and a bit of a laugh. Checking the weather forecast I noted that rain was due, so on the Tuesday morning I made an emergency raincoat purchase. Boy, I'm glad I did. The light showers that fell on Kev and I as we wandered round the town centre looking for a decent pub and a bite to eat increased in intensity as the evening progressed until it was absolutely throwing it down as we walked up to the KC Stadium. We were soaking by the time we got there. Fortunately under my coat I was as dry as a dry thing. Unfortunately, the rest of me was sopping wet through - my jeans, my shoes, my socks and sadly, yes, even my pants. But then it's not the first time I've wandered round with wet pants during a night out... Anyway, despite the rain, or probably because of it, REM were absolutely fantastic. True, I was a lot closer to the stage and a little more beered up but the band seemed to be trying a little harder to keep us entertained. The bulk of the set was as per the rest of the tour but we got a rough and ready version of 'I'll Take The Rain' followed by a lovely cover of 'Have You Ever Seen the Rain' by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Plus there was some unexpected old material -'Pilgrimage', 'Seven Chinese Brothers' and 'Welcome To The Occupation' - and as a special treat we got a cover of 'Teenage Kicks' in the encore, with Scott McCaughey doing the majority of the vocal work as Michael claimed not to know it. Alll in all, a great show despite the fact the rain hardly let up all night. And as a double bonus, we got back in town in plenty of time for a couple of beers before retiring to our (separate) beds.

The following morning it was off to MacD's for brekkie - I wasn't going to pay £14.95 for a hotel breakfast. Kev went off to work and I then had a couple of hours wandering round Hull shopping - I picked up some more tobacco for my pipe and a proper pipe tool, so I no longer have to scrape it out with a key or try to tamp it down with my finger (ooh-er, missus). Then it was off to Nottingham for the fourth and final instalment of this summer's REM-athon. It took a couple of hours to get there and then a few minutes more than expected to walk from the station to my hotel. In fact, it was sufficiently far from the station for me to stop and get my map out only to realise I was stood next to the blinking place! Anyway, I checked in about 3pm and put the news on just in time to to see probably the umpteenth replay of the moment that Jacques Rogge announced that London had been awarded the 2012 Olympic Games. Having not heard anything previously, this was news to me, so I have to confess I whoooped and did a little dance round my room. Excited? I nearly had a drink from the mini-bar! Not sure what event I'll be able to qualify for in 2012 though - I narrowed it down to archery or shooting as they don't involve much moving about. Mind you, if I'm competing I might not be able to watch the women's beach volleyball...

Anyway, back to the story. I had intended to get to the City Ground early to catch Idlewild and The Zutons for a change, but I needed some cabling for my laptop and something to eat so a shopping trip and then tea in a pub round the corner from the hotel put the mockers on that idea. Instead, I set off for a gentle stroll to the stadium at about half past seven. The City Ground was a bit further the other side of the railway station than I was expecting so the gentle stroll turned into a bit of a trek. Anyway, upon arriving at the ground I quickly located the beer queue and got in it. Whilst waiting to be served I had a very pleasant chat with a chap who was nipping off to a friend's leaving do (once he'd got the drinks in for his wife and her friends) as there was a free bar. He invited me along and whilst I was very tempted (hhhhhmmmm, free bar....*drool*) I decided to brave the rain and witness the REMsters in action one last time. The rain, it has to be said, was nowhere near as bad as the previous night, but here it was falling on the front of the stage. As a result Michael changed his shoes for trainers and eventually ended the evening barefoot. He also regaled us with the same tale about Cher he had told the night before, but it was no less amusing. (It was basically about her scraping the soles of her new boots before a performance in LA so that she wouldn't "fall on her ass" on a slippery stage. That doesn't really do the story justice though.) Anyway, the band were pretty good - they mixed up the set, again, threw in some old stuff and generally seemed to be having a good time. (If you're really interested in the setlists, check out The REM Timeline which has all the info.) I was having a good time, working my way through ten bottles of beer, dancing and singing along like a drunken idiot and generally enjoying the music. I wasn't as wet as the night before btu then, perversely, I didn't enjoy the gig quite as much. Almost, but not quite. Post-match I managed to get a bus back into town (much quicker than walking, obviously) and slipped into the hotel bar for a swift drink before bed.

Thursday 7th July dawned as expected. I nipped out to MacD's for brekkie again. I'm allergic to over-priced hotel breakfasts. When I got back it was to the terrible news about the London bombings. I then had a nerve-wracking couple of hours trying to get hold of my younger brother. He turned out to be fine, having worked late the night before and not being due in till ten that morning. It turned out that my brother-in-law also happened to be in that there London that morning but he was safe and sound at work. There's been a lot written elsewhere about these tragedies and I don't intend to add to it. Let the dead rest in peace and let the rest of us live in peace.

Anyway, that was it - REM-athon done and dusted. I had a quick shopping trip round Nottingham to finish my odyssey off and I was off on the train to Crewe. Back home for a ginormous cup of tea and a sandwich before retiring to bed to try to catch up with some of the sleep I missed over the previous couple of days. I have to confess I did take my laptop with me on my tour but the absence of Internet access in Hull and a combination of extortionate phone charges and faulty keyboard in Nottingham prevented me from updating my site. No great loss to the world that, I should imagine.

Also in the last month, I've been to the Cheshire Steam Rally - last Sunday (9th) to be accurate. If you click on the link above you can see some of my pictures from the event, taken with my new phone, so they might not be that great. I did take my digital camera but for some reason that decided not to work on the day. Perhaps it was too hot for it. It was a scorcher of a day and despite wearing a cap I forgot to cover my neck and ended up with a lovely sunburned neck... Nice. As one of the things not adequately covered by the pictures, I have to say that the Wall Of Death was spectacular. I was trying to be nonchalant when they started but the sight of a motorbike whizzing horizontally past about a foot from your face is a somewhat unnerving to say the least. It wasn't a long show, but for two quid it was great value for money. Also, the Carousel top bore the legend "Steam Golden Galloping Horses & Cocks Patronized By Royalty", so I just had to have a go. And yes, I have now ridden one of those steam-powered cocks patronized by royalty. Ooh, and indeed, errr, no, missus!

As mentioned earlier, I've purchased large numbers of CDs in the past month or so. Most of it obscure and some of it largely unlistenable (take a bow, The Berzerker and Screamin' Daemon, although for different reasons). The most fun CD has been Laibach's 'Anthems' collection which includes all their stomping, militaristic cover versions on one CD and a number of remixes on another. This is closely followed by John Cooper clarke's 'Disguise In Love' which includes classics such as 'I Married a Monster from Outer Space' and the surprisingly relevant 'I've Got a Brand New Tracksuit'. Other highlights have been 'Songs of Love and Hate' by Godflesh, Johnny Cash 'Live at Folsom Prison'and 'Closer' by Joy Division. There's been the obligatory Napalm Death purchases, a Carcass re-issue and some gap-filling in my REM collection thanks to the sales. There's probably some other albums that I ought to mention but I wasn't forward-thinking enough to make a complete list. Maybe next time.

Tip of the Day (Slight Return) - If you're discussing a department restructure in any meeting I'm in, don't suggest that in terms of experience you'd like to "get that Junior/Senior thing going on". You won't enjoy the next five minutes of me singing "Everybody, move your feet and feel united..." and asking who's going to be the little, thin, guitar-playing one....

Finally, it just remains for me to pass on my public congratulation s to my good friends John and Sue Ellam, who's son Thomas (are you gonna T.Ellam, or should I?) was born last Friday night. Hope mother and child are both doing well and look forward to pictures of the latest addition to the LUFC fan club in the near future. Cheers.

That's it - haven't time sadly to cover the story that almost twenty-three percent of the shares in Crewe Alex have been put up for sale, or to give my thoughts on Friday night's encouraging 3-0 defeat of West Brom in a pre-season friendly. Or that I've downloaded the Captain Pugwash theme tune from my PC to my phone as my new ringtone. Or indeed, much else. Not even time for a proper spellcheck. Ah well, c'est la vie. Bonsoir my Breetish chums!

Go on, stick your oar in:

Thursday 16th June

All surroundings are evolving

Last night I went to see a band that y'all might have heard of (for a change) - REM. Yep. Just to confirm my innate middle-class, dinner-party-holding, dad-rock-loving niceness, I "rocked out" to the alternative pop of those chaps from Athens, Georgia. This was the re-arranged gig from February when Mike Mills' ear infection caused the original gig to be cancelled. Thankfully they didn't bring back the original support band but instead we were treated to the relaxed lounge-pop stylings of ex-Pulp guitarist Richard Hawley. You could tell he used to be in Pulp - all his songs sounded like they could have come of their last couple of albums. (Think 'This is Hardcore' and 'Trees' and you'll be right there.) Not that there's anything wrong with that but I thought the songs needed a touch of Jarvis's wit to lift them above the ordinary.

Following that, at about ten to nine, REM hit the stage. They were in a very good mood and seemed determined to give us a good show in order to make up for the cancellation of the last one. There was plenty of banter about Mike being fit and well and "having been here before" and a storming mix of old and new stuff. The only gripe I have is that the sound seemed a bit poor to me - the guitars seemed to get lost in the rockier numbers. However, when you get such delights as the rarely-played 'Me In Honey, and 'Perfect Circle', two songs you've not heard before (Animal and I'm Gonna DJ) AND Mike Mills doing lead vocals, centre stage, on '(Don't Go Back To) Rockville', it's churlish to complain. Still wish I'd bought a standing ticket though - it was very difficult to stay jammed in my seat when all I really wanted to do was get up and dance and sing and throw my hands up in the air. At least I'll get a chance to do that at the rest of the REM gigs I'm going to this summer. On the other hand, staying in my seat gave me the chance to compile the following set list:

• I Took Your Name
• What's the Frequency, Kenneth?
• Animal
• The One I Love
• The Outsiders
• Drive
• Leave
• Bad Day
• Leaving New York
• Everybody Hurts
• Electron Blue
• Electrolite
• Me In Honey
• The Final Straw
• Orange Crush
• Walk Unafraid
• Losing My Religion
• Encore:
• Imitation of Life
• The Great Beyond
• Perfect Circle
• (Don't Go Back To) Rockville
• Nightswimming
• I'm Gonna DJ
• Man on The Moon

And then they were gone. Two hours of top tunes, comedy banter, freaky dancing from Michael and encouragement that I hadn't wasted all my money buying tickets to see them plug their somewhat disappointing last album.

Of course, my leisure plans wouldn't be MY leisure plans without there being some sort of comedy cock-up. You know - trains delayed, gigs being cancelled, that sort of thing. But this time I think I've managed to excel myself. I booked a day and a half off so I didn't have to rush back to work today. I managed to get over to Sheffield nice and early yesterday, went online and booked myself a bargain hotel room in Manchester for Friday night (The Palace for just over sixty quid on Expedia, if you're interested - not terribly cheap but considerably cheaper than the £180 I paid for a suite there last year) and sorted out trains to get back to work on Friday morning and then up to Manchester in the evening (if required). And then I found that I'd managed to leave my ticket for the Manchester gig back home in Nantwich, some 150 miles away. ARSE! For some, no doubt valid, reason I'd taken the ticket back there last time I was at my parents and had forgotten that until I went to get my ticket for last night and found the Manchester one was not with the rest of them. Double ARSE!! So, instead of popping off to the cinema to see Sin City, taking me time over updating the site and even seeing if there's anyone interesting playing at the Charters in Rotherham tonight (there isn't, luckily) I've got to get back home to get said ticket. D'Oh!

The latest addition to the links on the your left is the Crewe Alexandra Supporters Initiative (Crewe ASI for short). It's kind of self-explanatory, but if you haven't guessed it, it's a supporters' organisation aimed at helping the club by raising money, raising it's profile, getting more fans through the turnstiles etc, etc. No, I'm not a member yet but it's only a matter of time.

And on that note, that's yer lot for now - I've got to sort out my washing and pack my bag for the trek back across to the right side of the Pennines. Might be back for another update next weekend or maybe the weekend after that. who knows? Perhaps I might even find a place of my own where I can set up my PC and bore you all to tears with more regular updates. Don't hold your breath.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Wednesday 1st June

In the waters that you tread

Hey, hey, hey, it's t' month end, summer's nearly here, and I'm one month closer to reaching the big Four-Oh. And no, that's not 40 stone, you sarky lot. This month has a bit of a photo special theme - on the Rail Ale Trail page there are pictures of me and some co-workers having a bit of an outing, or on the Sibling Gathering page you can look at some picture from a recent gathering of my siblings to celebrate Mark and Kate's wedding. Enjoy.

On the lastfriday front, there was no gig this month, as expected, but fortunately, PapaKev has managed to obtain the lease for the place and it will be back, probably at the end of June, although when I spoke to Kev he didn't actually have any bands lined up for the night yet. He's currently hard at work preparing the venue for the relaunch and I wish him all the luck in the world.

Anyway, in order to make up for the lack of a good booze-up in Mexborough I dragged meself over to Doncaster on Saturday night to see Laruso and numerous support bands at The Leopard. The support bands were, I think, Soundless Till Dawn, Carbine and Mantra (or it could have been Manta). I have to say I got rather drunk, so I'm not too sure on that last one. I knew it was time to go when I tried to drink my beer whilst smoking my pipe - calamity. Beer and pipe all over the place. So, with my newly-purchased Laruso CD ("Bring It On" on Casket Records) I took my leave about halfway through their set. The bit I did see though was pretty good and their CD is worth checking out. So just do it.

Seen Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith I have. Talk like Yoda now I will. Tired I was, when saw it I did. Even so, a bit poor it is. Geore Lucas good at dialogue he is not.Take heed younglings, unless enjoy swordfights and badly-written speeches you do, like this film you will not. Alright, that's enough of the Yoda-speak. The problem with this installment, IMHO, is that you know where it's going. It's not helped by the fact that Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen seem so wooden that they could be out-acted by a couple of chairs and that the plot is a bit patchy in places. Anakin's conversion to the Dark Side is particularly unconvincing, for example, and don't get me started on the Palpatine/Darth Sidious appearance thing. And even though he doesn't have a speaking part, the odious Jar-Jar Binks still manages to put in an appearance. That said it was still about a gazillion times better than The Phantom Menace - there are plenty of deaths, lots of lightsabre action and the final transformation to Darth Vader is done well. Even so it only makes number four in my list of all-time favourite Star Wars films of all time.

As mentioned in a response to an earlier post - I've finally moved into the 21st Century in terms of personal mobile technology and gotten meself a fancy new phone with a camera and polyphonic ringtones and all that jazz. In fact I've got a Motorola V3 RAZR in black. It's all very swish, except I've had it for a few days now and still haven't managed to get to grips with all the features. Not that I'll probably be making that much use of them, but it is nice to be able to finally get near "the cutting edge" for a change. That said, I spoke to a bloke who works for T-Mobile t'other day and he said they're virtually giving the black ones away at the moment, so in a couple of months everyone will have one...

Have you seen that advert for Whiskas Cat Milk? Now, it got me thinking, how on earth do you milk a cat? And are there a number of cat dairy farms out there with cats being forced to have kittens to keep on producing the milk? I think we ought to be told...

And on the subject of adverts, let me just assure those of you who thought that eSure's Michael Winner adverts were terrible, the replacement one with an animated mouse is much more irrtating. Much, much more. There's no way I'd buy insurance from that Mockney, wide-boy, wheeler-dealer mouse. Not that I'd have bought any from Michael Winner, either, but I'm even less persuaded by the mouse. Grrrr!!!!

And while I'm ranting on, the June edition of Uncut magazine has a cover-mounted CD emblazoned with the legend Gimme Danger! I feel I ought to point out, before too many of you make the same mistake, that this slogan should only be used in relation to the CD by those people who's idea of danger is having three biscuits with their cocoa instead of two. It's a bland mix of alt.country and dad-rock. Yes there's MC5, Iggy and the 101'ers on there, but three blasts of ancient punk do not a dangerous album make. The only danger this CD is likely to be involved in is the risk of hitting somebody in the head when you rip it out of your stereo and chuck it out of the window.....

Finally, here's a tip should you ever be over in Cleethorpes and fancy a decent curry, as I did when I was out for a few beers with me old mucker, Kevin, on Tuesday evening - don't have the Chicken Pasanda at the Tamarind. I know it's supposed to be a fairly bland dish, but this variant had absolutely no taste whatsoever. It was like chicken in a creamy wallpaper paste. It was no consolation that Kev said his Lamb Jalfrezi was really nice. Especially as the service had been so notably slow. It's not as if they were busy either. Mind you, pretty much the whole of Cleethorpes seemed dead. Some of the pubs were shut and there only a few people in the ones that were open. At least it meant there was no hassle getting served and we could always find a seat but there was a distinct lack of atmosphere about the place. And my train hoodoo came into play when the 18:36 from Great Coates to Cleethorpes mysteriously failed to arrive. We ended up getting a taxi into town. Still a good time was had by us both. And Kev knocked up a decent fried breakfast this morning and we even managed a couple of pints of De Koninck Belgian Ale in the Wetherspoons in Grimsby before I had to head back home to finish this update. Can't say I've got too much enthusiasm for going back to work at the moment...

So that's it for this update - I'll be back in a fortnight with a review of REM's rearranged Sheffield gig and probably some more inconsequential shite. So until then mes amigos, eat well, drink sensibly and rock out like your life depends on it.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Saturday 30th April

If your limbs begin dissolving

Yep, it's that time of the month, reader - I pop back to Mexborough for lastfriday and waffle on about the obscure bands that I saw there. Only this month, it's slightly different because, at the time of writing, this month's event looks like it may have been the last. The lease on the venue has expired and PapaKev has not yet been able to secure a future for the event. Still, if it was the last one, it went out with a bang, not a whimper. Five, count 'em five, bands, general mayhem and a level of drunkenness not seen since I was let loose on the free bar at my cousin's wedding... Part of me wanted to join in the mayhem and get blazingly drunk and yet part of me wanted to stay relatively sober so that I could record the end of an era. Which part won? Well, what do you think...

Well, actually you're wrong - there were so many people there, it took an age to get served at the bar, so I pretty much gave up on that idea two or three times. Anyway kicking off proceedings were Renowned To You, one of several new bands that seem to have sprung up around the lastfriday scene. They might have been great, they might have been awful, but by the time I got there they'd finished, so I can't tell you. First up for me was Crazy Eddie, the night's MC, giving us an impromptu rap by way of introduction to Subillis, who rose from the ashes of Swinton supergroup Sillibus and took us out there somewhere. Giving us a mix of the old and new, they were at times reminiscent of Rage Against The Machine. Sadly at other times they were reminiscent of a hundred other metal bands. Personally, I think they need to play to the strengths of their rhythm section because there's the basis of a decent band in there. Crazy Eddie just kept on getting crazier and the next act he introduced was Empathy who charmed us with their indie-flavoured rock'n'roll, mixing old and new stuff to great effect. Highlights of the set were Tell Me You Know, Aeroplanes and Thank You, all of which are sadly not done justice on their new EP. That's not to say that the EP isn't good, but it doesn't match up to the live experience. Changing pace/mood somewhat were The Fuckwits who gave us a good blast of old skool punk. Nothing fancy about these guys - heads down no-nonsense mind-blowing singalong punk rock. I started to party like it was 1979. If these guys were signed to Fat Wreck or someone like that they'd surely be spending the rest of their lives on stadium tours of the US. Closing the night out, fittingly, were Disarm. Legends in the making. Fronted by Brad, the most charismatic carrot shagger in Mexborough, they simply get better with each performance. Sadly, you've probably missed your best chance of seeing them. And with the end of their performance, lastfriday was over, at least for now. Crazy Eddie and Sam were playing Oasis covers as I left but, to be honest, I thought it was time for me to leave. I wish all the bands who have played there the best of luck and I hope that the event can continue. Cheers guys, it's been... emotional.

Mixed Messages: the (not so) secret of good advertising is to get your mesage across clearly and memorably. Sometimes I see adverts that seem to be sending a different message to that intended. Now, I'm sure there are dozens of Internet sites out there dedicated to this sort of thing, so I'm not going to rattle on about it, but I thought I'd mention the adverts that have been getting on my tits recently:

• Saab 93 Convertible - You know the one. The ideal couple are driving their hideous yellow car through a snowy, frozen landscape with the top down. As they pass by flowers bloom (and die), a hibernating bear wakes three months early and a frozen river thaws and leaping salmon appear, one of which lands on the refrozen river. It's a Saab, a piece of summer in the winter of life. Except that the message I'm getting is this: Buy a Saab, f*ck up the climate. Not exactly a winner is it?
• More Than - 40 Years - Hapless old chap crashes his Merc into a lamp post and starts a Victor Meldrew-style "40 Years! I've had my no claims bonus for 40 years!" rant. Cue smug-looking driver, whose dog not only winds up the window but also triggers the screenwashers to douse the unfortunate old man. That's More Than lucky? No, that's f*cking inconsiderate and, quite frankly, offensive. The guy's had a smash and all you want to do is add to his misery whilst feeling smug about your car insurance? The message I'm getting? Insure your car with More Than and you too can be a self-satisfied, ignorant, c*nt.
• Conservatives - Are you Thinking What We're Thinking? - Yes, it's too easy, there are just too many negative answers you give to this.
• Kronenbourg 1664 - Bad Year for Composing - No mixed message here, just the award of the first Fatfakir Spotter's Badge to my boss, Miriam, for pointing out that not only does the music supposedly being written at the start of the ad not match the score that the orchestra has but neither match the music that the orchestra actually plays. Surprisingly, no, she doesn't have too much time on her hands...

Er and that's about it. Except to say that my siblings and I are having a get together tomorrow (Sunday) to celebrate the wedding of my brother Mark and his partner Kate. They got hitched in January but didn't tell us till after the fact and this weekend is the first that we are all free in order to celebrate the event. Even my younger brother, the Notoriously Unreliable E.D.D is going to be putting in an appearance. I'll be taking my camera, so you can expect some pictures of said event here next time I update (probably in a couple of weeks or so).

Oh, and before I forget, there's a big 'Thank You' to stroppycow who's filled in a gap in my obscure '80s guitar band knowledge by introducing me to The Wake. I can't believe I missed them the first time round. Check them out.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 10th April

They slip inside this house as they pass by

Another fortnight, another update. Woo, the pace of change here is almost dizzying, eh Forbes? Well, alright, just about the only thing that's getting updated at the moment is this page, so perhaps it's not that exciting. Especially if you're not a fan of music, as this one seems to have turned into a "Music Special."" At least I'm a bit more sober and a lot less rushed this time, so there may be fewer mistakes. Then again, there may not. Apologies for the picture of Kelly Holmes, by the way, but that's not my choice - the Olympic bid website obviously change the banner images sporadically.

Anyway, last Thursday night on my way back to Conisbrough, I popped into Charters, in Rotherham, to catch another performance by Disarm on their mini-tour. The benefits of regular gigging are paying off - they sounded tighter and Brad looked much more confident in the front-man role. There was a fair turn out of regular support who helped set up a good atmosphere and there was even a mosh-pit of sorts although that didn't last too long after Crazy Eddie accidentally knocked out some poor unfortunate kid during the mosh. Still, the band were on excellent form and delivered thirty minutes or so the best godammed rock'n'roll I've heard in a while.

On Friday night I did a little light roadie-ing for the band in return for a lift to and from their gig in Worksop (well, there's feck-all to do in Conisbrough on a Friday). It's be fair to say that the Frog and Nightgown won't be winning any Pub of the Year contests. That said they obviously like their live music - they have bands on several nights a week and the sound was pretty good. It's a shame that the local audience, who were mostly too cool to affect any interest, spent most of the evening by the back wall or outside, chatting each other up. Warming up things tonight were Empathy, who manifestly failed to bribe me for a good review, so despite their excellent performance I ought to slag 'em off. On the music front though, I really can't knock them. Other people might like to make some Oasis comparisons but I think that's lazy and not particularly fair. Especially as Noel Gallagher would give his right arm for a tune as good as "Tell Me You Know" these days. Top stuff. Following that Disarm were, somehow, even better than the night before. Perhaps they had to work a bit harder to get the crowd going, but it definitely paid off. The set also confirmed something that had occurred to me the previous evening - their cover of 'Blue Monday' is excellent but it also serves to illustrate just how good their own songs are. They could afford to drop it and their set wouldn't be any weaker. They should blow the roof off at lastfriday come the month end. If these guys aren't massive in the next twelve months, there's no justice. Seriously.

On a side note, I was persuaded to buy a 2Ci CD on Thursday night, on the basis that it was only £2.50 and they sounded alright for the minute or so I heard them. Sadly, it's been mixed by the sort of cloth-eared joker who ought to be "accidentally" locked in the toilet at the end of the recording session and only released once the mixing process has finished and the master tape/disk has been securely locked away in a place he's never heard of. Well, maybe that's a bit harsh, but I suspect it was mixed in a studio using some top-quality speakers, whereas they ought to have listened to it on a pair of crappy headphones, like I did. The bass and vocals sit on the left and the guitars on the right and the drums sit right in the middle of the mix, which might make sense to people with normal hearing but if you're virtually deaf in one ear, like me, makes for a very strange experience. Swap the earpieces round and they alternate between bass-heavy metallers and tinny rockers. Except that, even over speakers, the bass is far too high up in the mix for the first four tracks (perhaps the bass player mixed it?). A shame really, because their punky Sonic Youth/MC5-influenced metal isn't that bad. At least, the CD did serve some good purpose in that I've adjusted the balance on my headphones to give me a stereo-like experience when listening to other stuff.

There are some who say that the Internet is being overwhelmed by trivial tosh and blog-related nonsense. And some who rightly point out that I am contributing to that. Indeed I am, and so is this - a handy guide to how to tie your shoelaces. Even as we speak I'm sporting the Ian Knot, and I'm not even wearing any shoes!

This weekend it was time for the bi-monthly splurge down in the record shops of Donny. Again, pretty much on a retro tip, picking up all those albums that I should have bought years ago. This month's pick of the pops are:

• Captain Beefheart - The Spotlight Kid/Clear Spot
• Throbbing Gristle - A Taste of TG
• Mortiis - The Grudge
• Suede - Suede & Dog Man Star
• Simple Minds - Sons and Fascination/Sister Feelings Call
• James - Strip-mine
• The Who - Who's Last
• The Jam - All Mod Cons
• Suicide - Suicide/Live in Amsterdam
• Scritti Politti - Songs to Remember
• Wire - Pink Flag

Not had much chance to listen to many of these, having mainly given each a quick spin and sample yesterday afternoon. The James album contains a lot of tunes I've already got on tape so I knew what to expect from that and I've always been partial to a bit of Suede. Mortiis is enjoyable techno-goth-metal but not as heavy as I was expecting. Suicide will definitely be the music of choice for the days when I don't want to talk to anyone at work.

And thinking of talking to people at work, my boss and I often have discussions which lead to the idea of some sort of website, usually based around some sort of Carry On-style innuendo, to be honest. Occasionally though we have good ideas and some of them really ought to be exploited. One of the sticking points for me has always been webspace, so imagine my delight when I got home to find a letter from those nice people at UK2 telling me that they've increased my webspace to 1000MB and my monthly data transfer allowance to 5GB, ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE! Woo! Hoo! All I need now is broadband and a decent web design program and I'll be away. Well, maybe not but you know what I mean. The broadband thing actually shouldn't be that far off as I've got to move out of my sister's place by the end of the month. Well, strictly speaking I don't have to, but she's off on holiday for a week in May and my parents are coming over to look after her kids and I definitely don't want to be there for that!

A couple of years back (1st January 2003 to be precise) I posted an entry about New Year's Resolutions and how I'd actually made some resolutions about my life a few weeks earlier. The other day I was reflecting on those resolutions I made, which were basically about the things I wanted to do before I was 40. I realised, I've actually done absolutely none of them. I can blame economic circumstances for my failure on a few (visiting places, buying a house and learning to drive, for example, are all quite tricky when you're unemployed) but there are others that I could have achieved without recourse to much expenditure. The upshot is, dear reader, that I've got about six months to cram in as many of those goals as possible, so I'm going to have to get busy. Ooh, watch me go, as I waste time deciding which of those goals can actually wait till after my 40th birthday....

Go on, stick your oar in: