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Friday 30th October18:30Happy Haunting!Wahey! I've them pesky nephews a-visiting and we're decking the halls with boughs of, er, cobwebby stuff and generally making the house look a bit grim for Halloween. Well, a bit more grim than it normally does. Luckily for me though, we're not going trick-or-treating, so I won't have to spend the evening traipsing round the village in the rain. In order to treat the kids, Granny is cooking some "scary" food, Grandad is carving out some pumpkin lanterns, and I'll be getting out my Evil Dead videos....Earlier this week, we all went to the National Railway Museum in York. We set off a bit later than intended (surprise, surprise) but had a stroke of good fortune when we got there. As we pulled into the car park, the cars in front of us were being sent off to the overspill car park. However, as we got to the front of the queue, a car came out of the car park freeing up a space for us, and we were let in. Result. The kids had been before, but there was still a lot that they hadn't seen, and even though we stayed till closing time, we still didn't see everything - there's The Works and the Balcony Galleries still to be seen, and I didn't get to climb on Mallard (*sob*). In addition to the trains, there was also a mini-funfair. Well, just a helter-skelter, a traditional 'gallopers' roundabout and a fairground organ, to be honest. And there was a film crew shooting some footage for a travel-related Antiques Roadshow feature to be shown on BBC4 some time early next year. I was sorely tempted to interrupt the piece-to-camera with some "comedy" mobile phone antics, but decided against it. After all, I don't want to find myself appearing on 'It'll be Alright On The Night 25', or whatever edition they've got up to. Anyway, I give the Railway Museum a massive 'thumbs-up', especally as it's free to get in. And if you can get in the car park it's only £4.50 to park all day. So, that's a right bargain and no mistake guv'nor. Yesterday we had a quick dash round the Magna Centre. Definitely not free - a hefty £28 for two adults and two children. Still, as I've said before, the kids enjoy it. At the moment they've got a Myths and Monsters exhibition on, featuring animatronic models of such beasties as a chimera, a cyclops, a dragon and a unicorn. All "life-size" and very impressive. Unlike the rest of the centre - there were quite a few of the exhibits that weren't working, and not all of them were signed as such. Also, some of those that were working were clearly in need of a service. It seemed a bit shabby to me, especially given the size of the entry fee. Anyway, it didn't stop the kids having fun, which I suppose is all that really matters. Tonight we're doing the Halloween thing, then tomorrow we're off to a firework display and bonfire at the Earth Centre. Then it's out for lunch on Sunday with other assorted relatives before the kids head off home and I can return to my quiet, contemplative, not-getting-up-before-8-a.m lifestyle. You might notice (or you might not) that my comments mechanism, aka OarIn, has been a bit flaky recently, and might be so for a short while longer. My brother, who generously runs/hosts OarIn for me, is currently transferring the domain to a different ISP, so once it's been moved, hopefully it will be a lot more stable. Not that you lot leave any comments anymore, you bastards! It's OK, I'm not bitter... Finally, here's this season's essential accessory for the fashionable woman about town. Or is it just an amusingly-named bit of tat? Still, if you do wear these, at least everyone will know that they do match. Now, let's see them work these into The Archers... Go on, stick your oar in:
Thursday 23rd October19:00Surviving on fresh airHhmm, it's been an interesting week, dear readers. Perhaps luckily for you, I can't go into details, but suffice to say that the need to find paid employment has suddenly become much more pressing. So I've been concentrating on that rather than on finding weird and wonderful stories and sites on the InterNetto (like the Internet only much cheaper). The end result, of course, is that I've not got much (ooh-er!) to update this site with.I suppose I could discuss the Rugby World Cup, but my comments from last Tuesday still stand - the only teams that are capable of winning this tournament are England, New Zealand and France. And I've called the winner of each game correctly so far (although Fiji almost tripped me up against the USA). To be honest, I've started to get bored with the mis-matches. Whilst there's some interest in seeing the minnows take on the bigger teams, unlike in football there's no chance of the minnows springing a surprise. Take tomorrow's South Africa vs Georgia game, for example. It'll be hard work up front for the South Africans and the Georgians will be competitive at the scrum and line-out but South Africa should still win by about 70 points. So I'll catch the highlights rather than bother watching the game live. Still, at least this weekend there should be some decent match-ups - France vs Scotland, Wales vs Italy, Ireland vs Argentina. You'd bet on France, Wales and Ireland winning those games though. I'd prefer to see Italy and Argentina win but I think they're not quite strong enough to get the result. Which is a shame because if Argentina win, next weekend's Ireland vs Australia game becomes a "winner-take-all" match with the loser missing out on the quarter-finals. It's only taken a fortnight, but this tournament is threatening to get interesting. My nephews are coming to visit for a week from this Saturday - I hope they like rugby, because I'll be making them watch a lot of it.... And when we're not watching rugger, I'll either be looking for a job or out with the boys, visiting some local and not-so-local attractions. Hopefully this time we'll be able to get to the National Railway Museum in York, which we didn't get to in the summer. Otherwise, it'll be the usual round of Magna Centre, Conisbrough Castle and Earth Centre (for the fireworks display). Don't worry though, I'll find time to up-date you with our fantastic days out. Has the Dollar:Pound exchange rate slipped dramatically whilst I wasn't looking? According to this story the current exchange rate is about three dollars to one pound, but the last time I looked the dollar was trading at about 1 dollar to 60 pence. Are the curency markets really in that much of a state of flux or has someone cocked-up at Yahoo!? I've still not got round to scanning those family photos for one reason or another, and I won't get to do that next week, unless I can persuade the nephews to help me out. I suspect that what little daytime use I get out of the computer will be spent helping the kids out with their homework, so maybe I can can do a bit of horse-trading with them. Anyway, I'm off to get a couple of days sleep so I can cope with them pesky kids.... Go on, stick your oar in:
Thursday 16th October23:50With my reputation?I don't know where people might have gotten the idea that I like a drink or two, but three people independently e-mailed me this news story today. Whilst obviously this is great news as it spells the end of "fizzy piss masquerading as lager", it's non-news, really. Come on, when was the last time you saw Hofmeister or Kestrel on draught? And another thing, I take issue with the assertion that UK brewers watered down their lagers as they thought the British drinker couldn't handle it. The simple fact is that, just as today, beer was taxed according to it's alcoholic content (see here for current taxation rates), so stronger lager would have been more expensive than the traditonal bitter and in those days of less disposable income, price-sensitivity was much more of an issue. To some extent it's still an issue, why else do you think some lagers are classed as "premium beers"? Clue: it's not because they're decent beers. Yep, it's because they've got a higher alcohol content and attract a higher rate of duty. Anyway, good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. Now if we could only persuade the British brewers to adopt the German purity law, they might actually come up with a lager worth drinking....And another thing, if lager was introduced into this country as a result of British holidaymakers enjoying the taste of the foreign beers on holiday, why is it that on the few occasions I went abroad during the 1980s, the pubs sold English piss, er, beers? Well, they didn't in Germany, obviously, but everywhere else they did. Taste test - I might as well continue the beer theme. My mate Kev bought me some beers back from his summer holiday. Beers from the Country Life Brewery located at The Big Sheep in Devon, in fact. So, as I'm all out of decent imported lager, I gave them a whirl. I started with the Country Bumpkin - a bottle-conditioned, dark ale and 6.0% ABV. It's very nice. A bit cloudy, but nice. Next up, Wallop. Only 4.4% ABV, but a nice light golden colour and very refreshing. I finished the night off with Sam's Medium Devon Cider, from the Winkleigh Cider Company. (A search for which turned up the amusingly-named but unfortunately defunct, www.fannycolas.com). Not quite in the White Lightnin' league at only 6% ABV, but much tastier - more apple-y and sweeter. As ciders go, and I'm no aficianado, one of the best I've had. Thoroughly recommended, as indeed are the other two beers. Next time you're in that part of Devon, check out the brewery, you're unlikely to be disappointed. Regular readers might have noticed that this site appeared to fall off the Internetto on Tuesday, and there's been some disruption in the past. As far as I can tell these outages have been entirely down to server problems at UK2.net. I use their re-direct service to point to my free web space on Virgin. For future reference, or if you just want to look at my source code (ooh-er missus!), if I fall off the net again you should still be able to find me at http://freespace.virgin.net/slim.lawrence/index.htm Of course, if Virgin's freespace servers fall over as well (as appeared to happen briefly) I won't be there. And you won't even think about using that alternative until next time the fatfakir.com link fails, and then it'll be too late, because you haven't made a note of it and you can't access my site to find out what the alternative address is... Go on, stick your oar in:
Tuesday 14th October21:30Resurrecting the Mohole ProjectThe original Mohole Project was an attempt to drill thorough the Earth's crust to the mantle below, in deep water of the coast of Mexico, which was abandoned in 1966 due to spiralling costs. In order to keep the costs down, I'm planning to start in my cellar with a pick-axe and a shovel. I'll also need a couple of long ladders and a bucket system for removing the soil, but I reckon I won't need to invest in those till I've been going for a couple of weeks at least. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage as my house is at the top of a hill, but I reckon my lo-tech method will prove much cheaper and is less likely to frighten the Morlocks who, as we all know, live at the centre of the Earth. Downward into the 19th Century!Tip of the Day (No. 3659): When choosing a new notification sound for your Inbox, try to choose one that does not scare the Beejasus out of you every time you receive new mail. For example, I have a wav file of Papa Lazarou saying "Hello Dave" which plays every time I receive new mail and for some reason this file seems to be louder than every other wav file on my system. Thus, I am startled by it every time it plays. Every bleedin' time. I've run it through Soundprobe to make it quieter, but it still makes me jump. Sport, sport, masculine sport, equips a young man for society. Although in my case it seems to equip me for the anti-society, but I think that has something to do with the amount of alcohol I drink whilst watching it. I really ought to start playing rugby again - at least I'd have an excuse to be wandering the streets with my trousers round my ankles singing "Four and twenty virgins"... Anyway, I've enjoyed a full weekend of the old sporting action. The Rugby World Cup has been as predictable as I, er, predicted - you could pretty much name the winner of each match beforehand and the only interest was in how many points they would score (and I think that pattern will continue - so far I've scored 100%). That said, England, New Zealand and France have been the only teams to have impressed me so far. England were the most controlled of the sides, New Zealand put a lot of points past a decent side (albeit a side that expected to get beat) and France put in a solid performance aganst a team they could have had trouble with. I'm still not convinced that South Africa have got the game to beat England and Australia's scrum creaked so badly against Argentina that I'm sure all their other opponents will be looking to exploit that. The other Home Nations all won, although the Welsh will probably be the happiest about the manner of their victory (sorry Lisa) and the Scots most worried. However, I still reckon the semi-finalists will be Australia, New Zealand, France and England. And if that's not the case, I'll show me arse in Boots window. I was pleased to see England's footy team manage the draw they needed in Turkey, although once again it was the actions of a few mindless thugs off the field that caught the headlines. Admittedly they'd only just gone off the field for half-time, but even so. Anyway, that's England through to the European Championships next summer. If only I had a job, I could think about saving up to take a trip out there.... Go on, stick your oar in:
Thursday 9th October22:30And now the screaming startsWhy is it that amongst all the furore about Arnie being elected governor of California, everyone seems to have forgtten that Britain has already elected former Olympian, Sebastian Coe and noted actress, Glenda Jackson into Parliament. If I have to read another "Could it happen here?" article I shall scream. Oh, and "hats off" to The Guardian, who include Anthony Hopkins in their list of possible suspects for the UK despite the fact that he's recently taken up American citizenship. Good to see that the BBC doesn't have a monopoly on sloppy journalism.... Anyway, given that his Predator co-star, Jesse Ventura has already been elected Governor of Minnesota, I'd put a few quid on one of his other co-stars running for office before too long. And just because he's now the Governator, don't think you'll escape his crappy movies - 'Joe's Last Chance' and 'Around the World in 80 Days' are still in post-production. Finally, I have to say that Mrs Arnie, Pam Shriver, was looking a lot better than she did at Wimbledon this year. Funny though, I always thought she played for the other side....Signs that you are going bald: Number One - It's a sure sign that you're going bald when your mother says that she thinks you've been "over-zealous with the clippers on the top of your head" despite the fact that you haven't had a haircut for about six weeks. Ta, ma. Not only I am apparently unemployable, but I'm also a bit of a slaphead. Self-esteem. Wherefore art thou, self-esteem? Tis apparently National Poetry Day today. Which isn't actually that interesting, I suppose, but does give me an excuse to update Poetry Corner with some tedious scribblings. To be honest, I have missed the Poetry Challenge, somewhat, so I think you might be seeing a few more regular updates to the Poetry Corner in the future. Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, yeah, don't expect too many comprehensible, or regular, updates in the near future - the Rugby World Cup starts tomorrow, and I'll be concentrating on that for the next few weeks. Go on, stick your oar in:
Sunday 5th October21:00Slightly more stressful than delivering breadCongratulations (and jubilations) to Tim and Julie, who haved moved house this week. Confusingly, despite moving t' Over Road, they still live 100 miles away. Which is probably a joke that only makes sense if you happen to come from t' Yorkshire. Anyway, hope it doesn't take too long to sort the new place out. Mind you, as long as you've got the essentials - kettle, TV, toothbrush, beer and porn - you can sort the rest out later. Hhhmm, I think that list probably solves a few of the mysteries of my life.....Well, apart from the fun of completing the poetry challenge and buying two new CDs, this week has been fairly tedious. Job Club was as unexciting as always. ("The first rule of Job Club is: You do not talk about Job Club. The second rule of Job Club is: You do not, er, no, it's no smoking in the resource room.") And I still haven't got round to scanning in those family photos. I'll have to try to do that this week, although I've got a few other things that need sorting out first. Finally, here's a link you've probably all been sent already (courtesy of b3ta.com) - Tom Baker swearing. Rght click on the link and select "Save Target As..." to save it to your PC, or click on the link to stream it via your preferred streaming application. Definitely not work safe, so don't play it over your speakers in the office. Basically, it's a load of outtakes from a voice-over session for Symphony furniture. And very, very funny, albeit full of profanities. I'm now thinking of changing my name to Symphony.... Go on, stick your oar in:
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