Friday 20th June

Carry On Loving

Love is a losing game, so Amy Winehouse says and we're off on a loser here - it's Carry On Loving. The regulars performing their conjugal duties here are James, Jacques, Williams, Hawtrey, Sims, and Bresslaw. Butterworth also appears but blink and you'll miss him. Irregulars include Terry Scott, Julian Holloway, Jacki Piper and Patsy Rowlands. Joan Hickson returns for the fourth of her five Carry Ons, having last appeared in Carry On Regardless. Bill Maynard makes the first of his 5 appearances. Richard O'Callaghan comes in as a replacement for Jim Dale, with limited success (he only made two Carry Ons). Amd further down the bill, there's a turn for Mike Grady, better known as Ken in Citizen Smith, and Barry in Last of the Summer Wine. Screenplay by, yes, you guessed it, Talbot Rothwell.

Sidney Bliss (James) run the Wedded Bliss Agency with his partner Sophie (Jacques), and they use computer dating to match up their clients in the town of Much-Snogging-on-the-Green. Yes, that's about as subtle as it gets. Of course, Sid is also using the agency to play the field and string along his partner, who he promised to marry a long time ago but seems to have gone cool on. Anyway, the clientele of the agency are all a bit odd really, and the compuuter that supposedly matches them up doesn't actually work - it's a just a load of junk and Sophie in the back office actually does all the work. Cue a series of comic sketches as the clients come in, get matched up and go off on their dates, all with hilarious consequences. There's the naive virgin Mr Muffet (O'Callaghan) who accidentally picks up a model who is expecting a photographer. The Mr Philpott gets sent to meet a girl with a decidedly creepy family and makes an ass of himself. And Sid himself has a disastrous time with his bit on the side, Esme Crowfoot (Sims) when her boyfriend, the wrestler Gripper Burke (Bresslaw) returns home unexpectedly. Meantime, for those courting couples who need advice where better to turn than to Percival Snooper (Williams) the marriage guidance counsellor at the Citizens Advice Bureau? Well, anywhere to be honest - the man is a confirmed bachelor and he too is forced to seek out the services of the Wedded Bliss Agency. Having employed a private detective, Mr Bedsop (Hawtrey) to tail Sid and discovered the extent of his infidelities, Sophie herself makes a move on Mr Snooper. Just as Sid's love life starts fallng apart though Philpott's and Muffet's are blooming. Mr Muffet hits it off with model Sally (Jacki Piper) and Philpott discovers that his first date, Jenny (Imogen Hassall) has escaped the influence of her family and turned out to be a right cracker, and no mistake. In the end, after a few more comic misadventures, love finds a way and it all turns out right for Sid and Sophie, culminating in a massive food fight at their wedding. Obviously. The same food fight currently being used in them sodding Bounty adverts.

Well for a film with Loving in the title, there ain't any actual "loving" going on, although the action is frequently interrupted by a game couple who seem to be trying to set a world record for necking. This also has more of a feel of the early Carry Ons, with a number of set-pieces being built around a central point, but with little or no plot development. This time though the comedy and wit have been abandoned for lazy reliance on smut and innuendo, with whole sketches being premised on people talking at cross-purposes, usually about sex.

Overall, it's a disappointing 4 out of 10. There's nothing here to detain you - no exceptional set-pieces, very few genuine laughs and the Carry On team seem to drain all the sex out of, well, sex. If, like me, you're on a mission to get through the entire catalogue, then try to get this one out of the way early on, and if you're not a Carry On completist, then this one can probably be safely avoided.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Thursday 19th June

Carry On Up The Jungle

Lawks a-mercy it's off to the dark continent for the 19th caper in the series, Carry On Up The Jungle. The regulars on safari this time are James, Hawtrey, Sims, Bresslaw and a returning Kenneth Connor. The irregulars joining them are Terry Scott, Frankie Howerd, and Valerie Leon. Jacki Piper makes the first of four carry On appearances, taking the lead romantic role usually occupied by Angela Douglas. Absent from this production is Kenneth Williams, who was busy filming his TV show. And Jim Dale turned down the role of Jungle Boy and didn't appear in a Carry on again till the lamented Columbus in 1992. Screeplay once agian done by Talbot Rothwell, and despite his earlier purple patch, maybe it was time to try someone else.

It's Tarzan meets She meets Cannibal Holocaust. Well, maybe not the last one. Lady Evelyn Bagley (Sims) has organised a safari to try to find her long-lost son, Cecil (Scott). Joining her on the expedition are Professor Tinkle (Howerd) the ornithologist and Chumley (Connor) his assistant. Making up the party is June (Piper), Lady Bagley's maid. Their guide is alcoholic, hunter Bill Boosey, with his manservant Upsidaisi (Bresslaw). As they venture deep into the jungle (well, Pinewood set) they have a run-in with a gorilla, are followed by the Jungle Boy (Scott) and stalked by the Nosha tribe (they're cannibals, see). Young June finds a pool, goes for a swim alone and has a close encounter with Jungle Boy. He's instantly infatuated. The expedition party end up captured by the Noshas. They get away but then get captured by the all-female tribe, the Lubis. Turns out their king, Tonka the Great (Hawtrey) is Bagley's husband. Unfortunately for Howerd, Connor and James, the Lubi women have no other men and they are forced to mate with the women. Hard life, but there are a lot of women and they all want seeing to. Luckily, the faithful Upsidaisi has organised a rescue party. Which arrives just as Jungle Boy stages a rescue of his own. Our Carry On-ers escape but the rescue party gets captured after being bushwhacked by stampeding elephants. Oh well, the Lubis will look after them, I suppose.

This is an undoubted improvement on the last film, but there's almost too much crammed in here. Perhaps they could have cut out the Noshas and expanded on the other parts and made the film feel a little less rushed. On the other hand, if the pace had dropped a bit, perhaps we would have noticed that some of the characters are a bit rubbish, the jokes are screamingly obvious and that the Jungle set was less than convincing. We might also have mused on the un-PC-ness of Bernie Bresslaw blacking up and donning a curly wig. (Although Bernie did, apparently, learn his lines in a genuine African language. Which was a complete waste of his time as the genuine blacks in the film were all of Caribbean origin...) Whatever the pace of the film it was not hard to see why Jim Dale refused to play the part of the monosyllabic idiot, Jungle Boy. Incidentally, despite playing the mother of Terry Scott's Jungle Boy, Joan Sims was actually three years younger than him.

Score on the door? Well, despite my reservations, this passes the time really quite quickly and is amusing in places, so scores a solid 6 out of 10. A workmanlike outing for the team - never out-and-out hilarious but never quite falling back solely on smut and innuendo for laughs. If this is in the Top Ten at the end of the series it'll be number nine or ten I should think.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Wednesday 18th June

Carry On Again Doctor

It's off to Long Hampton Hospital for Carry On Again Doctor. On duty this time are James, Hawtrey, Williams, Dale, Windsor, Sims, Butterworth and Jacques. Irregulars include the dependable Peter Gilmore, Patsy Rowlands, Valerie Leon, and Frank Forsyth (in his last Carry On). Also appearing is Wilfred Bramble, meaning that both Steptoe AND Son have clocked up a Carry On. And making an uncredited appearance is the man that, according to Half Man Half Biscuit, 99% of gargoyles look like, Bob Todd. The screenplay is handled by the increasingly hit-and-miss Talbot Rothwell, who apparently adapted a rejected script that he'd done for the Doctor.. series of films.

It's a film of three halves, Brian, as Dr Nookey (Dale) the accident-prone-yet-loveable medic gets himself into a lot of trouble with Matron (Jacques), Dr Stoppige (Hawtrey) and senior surgeon Mr Carver (Williams). It all culminates in one final episode when, sabotaged by Dr Stoppige, he makes a drunken fool of himself and ends up losing everything, including his girlfriend, actress-model-whatever, Goldie Locks (Windsor). Mr Carver has, in the meantime been soaping up Mrs Moore (Sims) in the hope of getting her to pony up the dosh for his new clinic. In order to get into her good books, Carver packs off Nookey to Mrs Moore's medical mission in the Beatific Islands. The resident orderly at the mission, Gladstome Screwer (James) isn't exactly delighted to see the doc as he's got a cushy life going - no one comes to the mission for treatment (they all use the local witch doctor) and his wives and children are living in the ward. Still, he tries to help the doctor out and as a result of one good turn, reveals a miracle slimming serum created by the local medicine man. Realising it's potential Nookey strikes a deal for supplies with Screwer and flies back to England to make his fortune. Just in time to miss Carver who flies out to see him at Mrs Moore's request and gets stuck there for three months. While Carver is stuck on the Beatific Islands, Dr Nookey sets about making his fortune, setting up a lovely new clinic with backing from Mrs Moore. (Yes, it's the Moore-Nookey Clinic. Hilarious.) When Carver returns, he's shocked to see how succesful Nookey is and sets out to destroy him. Also turning up is Gladstone Screwer, and he's after a fair share of the profits. Cue the comedy capers as each man tries to get what he wants. And not only does Nookey have to deal with them but who should come back into his life but Goldie Locks, now known as Melody Madder and a successful film star in Italy. Can Dr Nookey satisfy all three interested parties?

With the, frankly, limp Carry On Doctor still fresh in our minds, there was surely no need for a return to the medical so quickly was there? Well, despite the fact that we have to put up with dumpy Babs Windsor exposing more flesh than a butcher's window, this isn't actually as bad as I feared it might be. There are a few decent gags in there and one or two classic set-pieces and a few dependable plot-devices. It's a bit sillier than the previous medical Carry Ons too - with Dale and others upping the ante on the stunts. Plus, this does at least have a plot of sorts, unlike Camping which was just a series of comic set-pieces based on a theme.

So, for not being as crap as I expected this gets 5 out of 10. It's not in my list of essentials but I'd certainly stay in to watch it on a rainy Sunday afternoon or even a rainy Wednesday evening. Perhaps the most worrying thing about this film is knowing that there are still 12 to go in my marathon and some of the remaining ones make this look like a work of genius. I'm quite tempted to wave the white flag now and pack it all in. However, having come this far, I'm determined to stick it out (Hyack! Hyack!). Just as long as I don't get arrested for it.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Tuesday 17th June

Carry On Camping

What can I say? Day 17, and it's time for Carry On Camping. The regulars packing up their troubles here are Williams, Hawtrey, James, Sims, Jacques, Windsor, Butterworth and Bresslaw. Irregulars helping out are Terry Scott, Dilys Laye, Julian Holloway and Michael Nightingale. Also, Valerie Leon makes the second of her six appearances (having first been in ..Up The Khyber). Also pitching up for her one and only Carry On is Betty Marsden, who was well-known for her work on the radio show Round The Horne. The screenplay is done by Talbot Rothwell, as per, and apparently went through several re-writes before they settled on the camping theme. Some of the unused material apparently got recycled in Carry On Behind.

It's the Swinging Sixties we're definitely in now (the film was released in 1969, by the way) and, hey, everyone's going camping. There's Sid (James) and Bernie (Bresslaw) trying to get their girlfriends to a nudist camp, there's Charlie Muggins (Hawtrey) the camping virgin, there's Peter Potter (Scott) and his dreadful wife Harriet (Marsden) on their annual holiday and lastly there's Dr Soaper (Williams) and Miss Haggard (Jacques) taking the girls of Chayste Place school on a summer trip. Needless to say, after some misadventures on the way, they all pitch up at the Paradise camp site. Sid and Bernie have the sort of comedy capers putting up their tents that my mate Kev and I used to have when we went camping, and then they promptly ditch their girlfriends (played by Sims and Laye) once the schoolgirls arrive, focussing in particular cackling sex dwarf Barbara (Windsor) and her friend, Fanny. Having been reluctant to embark on the holiday, Peter Potter finds himself further put out when he's attacked by a bull and then shot at by an irate farmer. It's the last straw when his wife "adopts" Charlie Muggins and lets him share their tent. Meantime Dr Soaper and Miss Haggard have trouble controlling the girls and themselves (well, Miss Haggard does). And presiding over all this is Josh Fiddler (Butterworth) the campsite owner, who spends his time either trying to screw money out of the guests or worrying about his hens.

I'm kind of ambivalent about this one - there are some great performances (Butterworth, Scott, Marsden) and overall the film is pretty amusing, BUT this film also clearly marks the decline of the Carry On franchise. There's the gratuitous nudity at the start, and Babs Windsor flashing her norks too. There's also less innuendo and more smut. If I was pushed, I'd say this is the film where the Carry Ons "jumped the shark". There's still some decent films to come but this one is definitely the beginning of the end. Perhaps it's a bit unfair to blame her personally, but whenever Babs Windsor is in a Carry On, it is, generally, a bit rubbish. You could argue that she only came into the series late on and the general quality of the scripts and films was decreasing anyway, but I'd say her increasing presence only underlines the decline of the series.

As this is acknowledged as one of the classic Carry Ons and does have it's high points, I'll have to give it 8 out of 10. I would have given it more - certainly Butterworth's scene with James at the camp gate deserves better - but the smut's laid on with a trowel, we've seen that relationship between Jacques and Williams at least once before and the idea that Sid and Bernie could pull some schoolgirls is frankly ludicrous. Oh, and that hippy festival scene towards the end is risible. Oh dear, still 13 days to go and things don't look good from here on in.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Monday 16th June

Carry On Up The Khyber

It's a return to form for this the 16th outing as the team Carry On Up The Khyber. Regulars on duty here are Williams, Hawtrey, James, Butterworth, Sims and Bresslaw. For the irregulars, Terry Scott returns to the fold, Angela Douglas plays the love interest (again) and Julian Holloway and Peter Gilmopre put in appearances. Roy Castle comes in for the unavailable Jim Dale and after a bit of a casting re-shuffle Cardew Robinson cameos as The Fakir in a role originally written for Tommy Cooper. Oh and Patrick Allen once again does a bit of uncredited narration. The screenplay is handled by Talbot Rothwell as per usual.

I'm sure I don't really need to give you a plot summary, but here it is anyway. India, 1895 and the British are lording it up. Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (James), is Governer of Kalabar and maintains a diplomatic entente with the local ruler, the Khasi of Kalabar, Randi Lal (Williams). He is also Commander of the men guarding the Khyber Pass - the 3rd Foot & Mouth Regiment of the Highland Guards. A regiment feared for their refusal to wear anything under the kilt, earning them the nickname among the local Burpa tribes of 'Devils in Skirts'. They are so feared that the locals dare not rise against them. However, during a border encounter with Private Widdle (Hawtrey), Burpa chief Bungdit Din (Bresslaw) discovers that in this case something is worn under the kilt - woollen pants. It'd be a disaster if the truth came out so Ruff-Diamond heads off to the Khasi to quash any rumour. Unfortunately the two men he takes with him, Capt. Keene (Roy Castle) and Sgt-Major Macnutt (Scott) both have pants on, so that's ruled out. Calling an impromptu inspection, Ruff-Diamond discovers all the men are wearing pants, and what's worse Lady Ruff-Diamond (Sims) has photographic proof. Smitten with the Khasi she delivers the photo, and herself, to the arms of the Khasi. Warned of her betrayal by the Khasi's daughter, the Princess Djelli (Douglas), Keene, Macnutt and Widdle cross the border to Jaksi to mount a rescue mission, using dissolute missionary Brother Belcher (Butterworth) as their guide. Unfortunately, although they manage to make it back, they don't recover the photograph and the Khasi uses it to persuade the Burpas to attack the border post. After slaughtering the sodiers there, the Burpas advance upon the Governaer's palace in Kalabar. After assessing the situation, Ruff-Diamond decides to trust to the remaining soldiers to defend the palace, whilst he hosts a dinner party. His guests are all resolutely stiff-upper-lipped as the Burpas attack the palace, except for Brother Belcher, who is driven to hysteria by the rest of the party carrying on as if nothing was happening oputside. In the end Ruff-Diamond and his senior officers pop outside and join the fighting. And the Devils in Skirts win the day by proving that this time there really is nothing worn under the kilt.

Although this film featured the remotest location filming of any of the Carry Ons, they still never made it outside of the country. Instead, the mountainous scenes were all filmed in Snowdonia, around Llanberis. The Snowdonia shooting took a week and the rest of the film was filmed on sets at Pinewood Studios over the course of about three weeks. Allegedly, the Welsh mountains looked so much like those of Afghanistan that servicemen wrote in saying they recognised the place immediately. I fancy this may have been a bit of marketing guff. Another little known fact about this film is that it is this film that particularly influenced the naming of this website. Yes, it's all down to Bernard Bresslaw's dismissal of the magician with the immortal words "Fakir. Off!"

Back on form here, and this is an all-time classic of all time, so has to get 10 out of 10. The film neatly skewers the whole stiff-upper-lip culture of the colonial era. It also throws in plenty of decent gags about tiffin, has some quality lines and goodly helping of that saucy innuendo that later came to ruin the film series. If there's one quibble I have it is that I would have preferred to see Jim Dale play Roy Castle's part (ooh-er, missus!), but apart from that this is pure Carry On gold.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 15th June

Carry On Doctor

After the historical-slash-costume drama spoofs of the previous few films it's back to familiar territory for Carry On Doctor. Pretty much the complete line-uip of regulars is here - James, Williams, Hawtrey, Sims, Windsor, Jacques, Butterworth, Bresslaw and Dale. In fact only Kenneth Connor is missing. Further down the bill there are appearances for Peter Gilmore, Marianne Stone, Julian Holloway and Dilys Laye. Anita Harris makes a second appearance and the nominal guest star is Frankie Howerd. The screenplay is once again in the hands of Talbot Rothwell.

Dr Tinkle (Williams) and Matron (Jacques) run their hospital with a rod of iron. But for the patients of Fosdick and Caffin wards there is a litlle light in their lives in the shape of the personable, accident-prone Dr Kilmore (Dale) and, of course, the adorable nurses, including Nurse Clarke (Harris) who is madly in love with said doc. Things bump along with the various patients and their strange ailments (or non-ailments in James' case) until Dr Tinkle's life is disrupted by the arrival of Nurse May (Windsor) who has a crush on him because he once saved her life. He's caught in a compromising position with the nurse by Tinkle and the Matron, but persuades Matron to take his side. When Dr Kilmore is later caught in a compromising position on the roof of the nurses' home (don't ask) Matron and Tinkle seize the opportunity to dismiss the troublesome medic. The patients, outraged at the collusion btween the two senior members of staff and disgruntled with the unsympathetic treatment they've been getting, stage a revolt. They give Dr Tinkle and the Matron a dose of their own medicine before forcing them to re-instate Dr Kilmore.

After the high jinks and inventiveness of the previous few Carry Ons this one hits you in the face like a wet sock. It's largely identical to Carry On Nurse, with bits of the Doctor series of films thrown in, and seems to be going nowhere fast. There are some funny lines in it and some amusing characters but for the first time it feels like the Carry On series really is just repeating itself and recycling the same old jokes. There's even a reference to the daffodil scene at the end of Carry On Nurse.

I just don't like this one and think it's one of the few clunkers that Talbot Rothwell produced during this fertile period. I can only give it 5 out 10. If you must watch a medical Carry On this is probably the one to watch but once you've seen one, you can really have seen them all.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Saturday 14th June

Follow That Camel

It's the second of Rank's entries into the Carry On canon, Follow That Camel. The regulars on active service here are Williams, Hawtrey, Butterworth, Sims and Bresslaw. I've been referring to Jim Dale as an irregular, but as he did eleven films (including Carry On Columbus), I suppose he really deserves a place as a regular. Of the real irregulars, Peter Gilmore notches up yet another appearance, Angela Douglas stars as the love interest and Julian Holloway makes the first of eight Carry On appearances. John Buthal gets to work on his second Carry On but this is his first appearance, as in Spying he only provided the voice of Dr Crow. Phil Silvers joined the team as a late replacement for Sid James, who had television commitments to fulfill. As it turned out that was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was a good thing because Sid suffered a heart attack whilst the film was being shot, so it might have been scrapped, or at least seriously delayed, while he recovered. Yet it was a bad thing because the producers thought the American star might help the film in the US, not realising that Silver's popularity had declined since the end of Sgt Bilko.

We're back in society England in 1906 and, after a row about cheating at cricket, Bertram Oliphant West (Bo, to his friends) is disgraced. Fearing he has lost everything - his standing in society, his honour and his sweetheart - West(played by Dale) packs his bags and sets off to join the French Foreign Legion, accompanied by his loyal valet Simpson. Arriving in North Africa they encounter Sgt Bilko, er, Nocker in a cafe, enjoying a liaison with Zig Zig (Sims), and he directs them to the nearby garrison to enlist. The garrison is run with an iron fist by Commandant Burger (Williams) despite the wishy-washyness of his second-in-command, Captain Le Pice (Hawtrey). It is also a garrison constantly under threat from the native Riffs, led by Sheikh Abdul Abulbul (Bresslaw) and they can't afford to turn away recruits. West and Simpson though have trouble adapting to the Legion until they recognise Nocker from the cafe and use their hold over him to get an easy life. Meantime, back in Blighty, news of West's departure comes as a great shock to his sweetheart, Lady Jane (Angela Douglas), and when the truth comes out that West didn't cheat, she sets off to find him. Cue a number of vignettes in which men take advantage of a single woman, travelling alone, including Commandant Burger, who turns out to be Jane's old fencing instructor. Whilst this is going on, Sheikh Abdul is using his exotic dancing girl, Corktip (played by Anita Harris), to lure Nocker and West into a trap. A trap they willingly fall into. They are captured and taken to the Sheikh's desert camp. Jane turns up at the Cafe ZigaZig looking for West and is also captured by the Sheikh. Luckily, Simpson is on the case and attempts a rescue, which sadly fails. However, Nocker does get away but by the time he gets to the garrison, the truth about his lone patrols has been uncovered and no one believes his story. When the Legionnaires do set out on a rescue mission , it is too late. The Sheikh and his men have decamped, leaving West and Simpson staked out in the sun. Learning that the Riffs intend to attack Fort Soixante-Neuf (Hyack! Hyack! Hyack!). The Legionnaires set off for there. Along the way, there's a fight among the men and all the injured are sent back to get reinforcements whilst a brave handful march on to the Fort. When they get there, they find that all the men at the fort have been killed. Not only that but the Riffs have returned, intent on adding them to the tally of the dead. The brave few make a stand but, despite their tricks and traps, all seems lost until Le Pice turns up with the reinforcements to save the day. All's well that ends well and back in Blighty, Jane and West have settled down together, although that baby looks a bit odd. And just who is that chap bowling the explosive delivery on the cricket pitch...?

Phew! I've been trying to summarise the plots but it appears I've just described this one wholesale. I must remember to be more succint in my summaries. Anyway, this is another corker. Fairly obviously ripping off the Beau Geste legend, Talbot Rothwell delivers another quality script. There's a bit more obvious innuendo in this one but it's still not at the point where it overwhelms the film. (In fact, as you watch the films in order you can spot the gradual increase in the levels of sauciness.) Dale and Butterworth work together excellently and Williams does a surprisingly good turn as a sadistic German. Phil Silvers IS Sgt Bilko here, but then the role was written with him in mind, so that shouldn't be a surprise. Bresslaw gets a major role here, as Sheikh Abdul, and he hams it up, complete with comedy accent and funny foreign way of the speakings. These days, you wouldn't get away with it, of course. It also has to be said that Rye and Camber Sands do a good job of standing in for the Sahara Desert.

Overall another 9 out of 10 from me. This one has just about everything you want from a Carry On - misunderstandings, bumbling fools, a decent villain, an actual story that goes somewhere and a heap of innuendo piled on the top. Still no out-and-out rudeness on show here and, despite his absence, you don't miss Sid James' cackling at every piece of smut in the script. Definitely one of the top ten Carry Ons.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Friday 13th June

Don't Lose Your Head

Friday 13th wouldn't be a Friday 13th without something going wrong. So, after the nightmare of a journey home that took twice as long as usual, I was delighted to find that my PC wouldn't boot up. And when I did eventually get it going, I couldn't access my website to upload this update. So apologies for it's rather tardy appearance.

It's the first of the two films that didn't actually have Carry On in the title, Don't Lose Your Head. This was due to a change in distribution company, with Rank wary of legal issues and apparently uncomfortable with being associated with Anglo Amalgamated's successful franchise. Anyway, les regulaires ici are James, Williams, Hawtrey, Butterworth and Sims. Jim Dale and Peter Gilmore head les irregulaires. Further down the bill we find Marianne Stone making the fourth of nine appearances and Michael Ward making the last of five. Also on the bill is Jacqueline Pearce, who later played havoc with many a young boy's hormones as Servalan in Blakes 7. Screenplay duties in the hands of Talbot Rothwell again, thus notching up his seventh of the series.

This time we're in France. (But of course, we're not - the furthest they get from London this time is Aylesbury.) The Revolution is in full swing and the aristocrats are in it up to their necks. In Madame Guillotine, of course. And the feared chief of the secret police, Citizen Camembert (williams) is overseeing the executions, assisted by his faithful servant Citizen Bidet (Butterworth). News of the Revolution finally reaches the ears of bored, society fops Sir Rodney Ffing (James) and Lord Darcy Pugh (Dale) who decide to lift a finger, or two, to help their French cousins escape the tyranny. Soon Ffing ("Effing, with two f's") and Pugh are causing havoc with the executions and become known as The Black Fingernail, due to the distinctive calling card they always leave. Camembert is determined to catch him and eventually hatches a plan. Travelling to England is disguise, they lure him into a trap. And this time instead of fighting for someone else's lives, Ffing and Pugh must fight for their own.

It's a pretty obviously based on the Scarlet Pimpernel story and one wonders how they managed not to get sued by Baroness Orczy's estate for it. Probably because the estate believed them when they claimed it had nothing to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel, but didn't bother to actually check the film to be certain. Anyway, the film also features a first for the series when there is a scene where James and Dany Robin (playing the love interset) both speak direct to camera. It's not a technique I'm particularly fond of but it seems to work OK here. That aside, it's clear that once again things are on top form, with the cast having a great script to work with and clearly having a riot in this costume drama. Charles Hawtrey, in particular seems to be having a whale of a time as the Duc de Pomfritt.

That said, this is only gets an 8 out of 10 from me. It is quality, the puns are as good/bad as ever and the settings are magnificently done. However, Sid's turn from lisping fop to all-action hero doesn't quite convince me - I think it's his attempt at the fop that don't quite ring true. And although there's plenty to enjoy here, there are times when it seems to drag a little. This is still top ten material though. Vive La Farce!

Go on, stick your oar in:

Thursday 12th June

Carry On Screaming

No apologies if this turns out to be a bit gushy, but Carry On Screaming is my all-time favourite Carry On film of all time. It's a hammy Hammer Horror spoof. Regulars providing the thrills here are Williams, Hawtrey, Sims, Butterworth and Bresslaw. Jim Dale leads the irregulars, there's a sizzling return for Fenella Fielding, Jon Pertwee makes the last of his three appearances and further down the bill Tom Clegg makes the fifth of his six. Completing the link between the Carry On and Hammer, Frank Forsyth appears in the seventh of his eight Carry Ons, having also done Hammer's The Evil of Frankenstein, with Peter Cushing. Harry H Corbett comes in to do his only Carry On, replacing a sadly unwell Sid James, and frankly, does a splendid job. Screenplay once again in the capable hands of Talbot Rothwell.

In Edwardian England, someone (or some thing) is kidnapping young ladies down in Hocombe Woods. When Doris Mann (Douglas) disappears during a late night liaison with Albert Potter (Dale), Detective Sergeant Bung (Corbett) investigates. The kidnapper has at least left them a clue this time - a finger. A great, hairy finger. The question is, who does it belong to? And does it have anything to do with the suspicious characters inhabiting the nearby Bide-A-Wee Rest Home? Well, of course it does. Dr Orlando Watt (Williams) and his vampish sister Valeria (Fielding) are using Oddbod (a re-animated homo gigantus), to kidnap the girls and are turning them into mannequins. Valeria tries to distract Bung by seducing him but the situation becomes a lot more complicated after Police forensic scientist, Dr Fettle (Pertwee) manages to create a whole new being from Oddbod's finger. With Oddbod and Oddbod Junior now on the loose, no woman is safe in Hocombe Woods. Nor indeed, any man disguised as a woman, as Constable Slobotham (Butterworth) finds to his cost. Luckily Bung and Potter come to his rescue. They solve the mystery, Dr Watt meets a grisly end and Bung gets the girl. Or at least he gets Valeria, who, quite frankly, apopears to be more than adequate reward.

This is, for me an absolute treat. It skewers the Hammer genre pretty much perfectly and has genuinely funny moments in all the way through. Fenella Fielding looks absolutely gorgeous, Harry H Corbett is splendid and the rest of the cast are on top form with not a duff performance to be seen. In fact, the only jarring note of the whole thing is struck by the opening tune, in which an uncredited Ray Pilgrim exhorts his girl to carry on screaming because "when you're screaming, I know that you're dreaming of me." Take it from me chief, if your girlfriend wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, that's not usually a good sign.

It'll come as no surprise to find that this gets a big 10 out of 10 from me. If it was possible I'd give it 11, to be honest. (Mind you, I realised the other night that I need to go back and revise my scores, Cowboy is only an 8 really and Spying a 6, so I'll have a think about that over the weekend.) There's a lot to enjoy here, from spotting the Hammer references to picking up on the musical in-jokes. Like I said, my personal favourite. It's brilliant.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Wednesday 11th June

Carry On Cowboy

Yee-haw! It's off to the Wild, Wild West of er, Surrey (Chobham Common, to be precise) for the western spoof, Carry On Cowboy. The rootin', tootin', regulars here are Williams, James, Hawtrey and Sims. Plus there are debuts for stalwarts Bernard Bresslaw and Peter Butterworth. Connor goes AWOL again, presumably kidnapped by his agent for ignoring his advice... Irregulars on show here are Jim Dale, minor players Peter Gilmore and Percy Herbert, Sally Douglas finally gets a credit in her fifth Carry On appearance and Angela Douglas gets a main role for the first of her four Carry Ons. Script duties still in the more than capable hands of Talbot Rothwell.

Stodge City is a pretty peaceful kind of place till The Rumpo Kid (James) rolls into town. He teams up with saloon owner Belle Armitage (Sims) and pretty soon they're running the rowdiest joint in town. The Rumpo Kid also finds time to assemble a gang and do some cattle rustling. When Judge Burke (Williams) finally convinces the Sheriff to run Rumpo out of town, Rumpo guns him down. Now he's got the town in his pocket. Burke wires Washington for help cleaning up the town and they send him a Marshall. Marshall P Knutt (played by Jim Dale), sanitation engineer, to be precise. Holy misunderstanding, Batman. For a while though he colludes with Judge Burke and manages to convince Rumpo that he is a real Marshall. Only other person knows the truth - Annie Oakley (Angela Douglas), who came into town on the same stagecoach. She's looking for the man who shot her pa. Along the way she anonymously helps Marshall out of a couple of scrapes with Rumpo and teaches the sanitation engineer how to shoot. Just in time for the final showdown between Marshall and Rumpo and his gang, when Marshall's knowledge of drains comes into its own. This being a Carry On, you can't kill Sid James, so he's saved by (the) Belle and they ride off together.

Another corker from the Carry On guys and worth a 9 out of 10 from me. It probably suffers a little in comparison with the films that came before and after, but it's clear that the cast are having great fun and they've got some quality material to work with. If you're at all a fan of Westerns and, in particular, comedy Westerns this is a treat, up there with Blazing Saddles. Ride 'em Cowboy!

Go on, stick your oar in:

Tuesday 10th June

Carry On Cleo

The series hits double figures with Carry On Cleo. And frankly it's tens all round for this marvellous comedy based on the stories of Cleopatra (naturally), Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. The phalanx of regulars here are James, Williams, Hawtrey and Sims. Kenneth Connor makes a return, presumably having sacked the agent who advised him to give the last two films a miss. Jim Dale leads the irregulars whilst further down the bill, Peter Gilmore racks up the third of ten Carry On appearances, Ian Wilson makes the last of his six and, almost unnoticed, Michael Nightingale racks up the third of thirteen. Back up the top of the bill there's a welcome return for Amanda Barrie and Warren Mitchell has a cameo as slave merchant Spencius (of Markus and Spencius, of course). Talbot Rothwell is once again in charge of the screenplay, although Shakespeare clearly had the original idea. And is also worth noting, trivia fans, that the film's most famous line, "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!" wasn't actually written by Mr Rothwell, but was lifted wholesale, albeit with permission, from the radio series Take It From Here, written by Frank Muir and Dennis Norden.

The Romans are in Britain and it's raining. Caesar (Williams) is having a horrible time and back in Rome the Senate are moving against him. His friend Mark Antony (James) advises him to return home to look after the affairs of state. Before they go though, there's just time for one last raid to pick up some more British slaves, including the useless Hengist Pod (Connor) and his neighbour Horsa (Dale). Back in Rome, Caesar decides that, in order to pacify the Senate, he needs to sort out the trouble in the East of the Empire, so dispatches Mark Antony to support Ptolemy in his attempt to overthrow Cleopatra. Of course, on his arrival Mark Antony is much taken by Cleo and switches sides, so to speak. Meantime back in Rome, Hengist and Horsa escape the slave merchants and hide out with the vestal virgins. When Caesar comes to consult, they end up saving his life by killing his would-be assassins. Horsa takes his chance and flees whilst Hengist hangs around and takes the glory, becoming Caesar's personal bodyguard. Caesar then decides to go to Egypt to meet Cleo for himself, in order to "forge an alliance" but Antony plots with Cleo to kill him. It takes a bit of cunning and the intervention of Horsa for Caesar and his bodyguard to escape back to the relative safety of Rome. Where he is stabbed. And lucky old Mark Antony gets to live happily ever after with Cleo. All of which makes the film sound dull but it isn't - this is one of the most watchable throughout with nary a duff moment.

It's worth noting that this was filmed and released not long after Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor's epic Antony and Cleopatra. A film which cost a staggering £35million at the time. The Carry On version cost about a two-hundredth of that, coming in at little more than £165,000. And I know which I'd prefer to watch.

And although this is not my personal favourite, I have to give it 10 out of 10. It's got everything - great characters, great script, funny jokes, a bit of the trademark sauciness and of course, Amanda Barrie. There is little doubt that this is the first of a little run of outstanding Carry Ons - seven out of the next nine join this in my top ten list. Carry On Cleo though is almost flawless; an absolute classic.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Monday 9th June

Carry On Spying

Why? Why? Why? After another quality outing in colour, why on Earth do they flick back to black and white for Carry On Spying? I've looked on t'Internet but not even the normally reliable Carry On site can give me an answer. You could make a case that it's an homage to the films noir parodied here (Third Man, Maltese Falcon, etc) but I reckon it's just because it was cheaper than colour. For all the invention, humour and flair on display in this series of films it's worth remembering that they never got further from London than Snowdonia for location filming and the studio were always keen to keep the costs down. Fortunately, they didn't try to reduce costs further by sticking with the original Norman Hudis script (he later claimed his script was terrible) and Talbot Rothwell knocks up the screenplay. Regulars on duty here are Williams and Hawtrey and Barbara Windsor makes the first of her nine appearances. For the irregulars Eric Barker and Jim Dale take lead roles and Dilys Laye gets a second lead role. Further down the bill, Victor Maddern gets a significant role in the fourth of his five Carry Ons and Frank Forsyth notches up the sixth of eight appearances.

The clue is in the title here - this is basically a spy spoof; a concept Peter Rogers clearly had in mind when he first registered the title around the time of the first James Bond movie. Foreign agent Milchmann (Maddern) steals a top secret formula andsets off to deliver it to the mysterious Dr Crow (played by Judith Furse but voiced by John Bluthal, fact fans), head of the Society for the Total Extermination of Non-Conforming Humans (S.T.E.N.C.H.) Owing to a shortage of agents, the chief has to send bumbling idiot Williams, alongside new recruits Cribbins, Hawtrey and Windsor. They stumble from one crisis to another as they tail Milchmann and The Fat Man, trying to get their hands on that formula. Agent Carstairs (Dale) is also trying to retrieve the formula but is frequently thwarted (and injured) by his colleagues. In the end they need the help of double agent Dilys Laye to save their bacon and get home safely with the formula.

Having expertly lampooned the swashbuckling genre in Carry On Jack, Rothwell displays a deft touch here with a masterly Bond spoof and, honestly, there are few better examples - Casino Royale (David Niven version) and the first Austin Powers movie, maybe. This has it all, exotic settings, dangerous liaisons, secret rendezvous and sinister villains. And some pretty good performances - Williams is instantly likeable as the clumsy but well-meaning agent and Babs Windsor doesn't get her clothes off and run around giggling like a loon all the time. Cribbins and Hawtrey underplay their roles to perfection and there's an excellent turn from Richard Wattis as the sour Head of Security.

All that said, this still only gets 7 out of 10 from me - mainly because it's in black and white but also because the climactic scene features two minutes of footage we've just seen being run backwards. And yes, I know that was on purpose. It manages, despite the money and invention that has obviously gone into it, to still look just a little bit cheap and tatty. It's a minor quibble but one that, for me, just stops this being a classic Carry On.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 8th June

Carry On Jack

Hurrah! It's back to colour film stock for Carry On Jack, the first Carry On that Talbot Rothwell developed a screenplay for but beaten into production by Cabby earlier in the year. Of the established regulars there's only Hawttrey and Williams on board but they're ably supported by Bernard Cribbins and Juliet Mills in the other lead roles. There's a smattering of irregulars further down the bill including Patrick Cargill, Anton Rodgers and Ed Devereaux, who makes the last of his five Carry On apearances. Solid support work comes in the form of established actors Donald Houston, Percy Herbert and Cecil Parker, who all lend this enterprise a bit more gravitas. Oh, and Jim Dale makes his second Carry On appearance.

Set not long after the death of Nelson, this film sees Midshipman Albert Poop-Decker (Cribbins) finally make it out of Naval college after eight-and-a half years. He's posted to HMS Venus, but before he gets there his identity is stolen by Juliet Mills, who wants to get to Spain to find her childhood sweetheart. Luckily, he's press-ganged on to the ship anyway. Fearsome officers Howett (Houston) and Angel (Herbert) run a tight ship but, sadly, their new commander, Captain Fearless (Williams) doesn't live up to his name. Faced with the the prospect of spending their time running away from the enemy, the officers trick the Captain (along with the two Poop-Deckers (real and impostor) and Hawtrey) in to abandoning the ship, and then set off to attack the Spanish fleet. They are attacked, their ship stolen and they end up locked in a Spanish jail. The castaways meanwhile manage to land ashore but are then taken captive by the pirates who have HMS Venus. Pirates led by Mills' childhood sweetheart. The four castaways somehow manage to beat the pirates and set sail home. Back in Spain Howett and Angel and their men have escaped the jail and are sailing back to England with five captured ships. Cue the comic encounter when a falling lamp starts a fire and sets off the Venus' cannons, sinking the Spanish vessels. The Venus' crew though are blissfully unaware as they're down below cutting off Ken Williams' gangrenous leg. They are, of course, proclaimed heroes when they reach Plymouth harbour.

Phew! There's more of a story in this than in previous films, and it has a darker tone, even though the motif of bunglers triumphing over the odds is retained. And given that, the lack of regular cast members and the absence of the innuendo that eventually overwhelmed the whole enterprise, this film does seem like an oddity in the series. It's not that it's a bad film - far from it - it just doesn't quite feel like a Carry On. Still, it's one that I like and will seek out to watch if it's on. So for that alone I have to give it 7 out of 10.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Saturday 7th June

Carry On Cabby

After the colour-tastic last hurrah for Norman Hudis, it's back to black and white for Carry On Cabby This is the first production of a screenplay by Talbot Rothwell, although, fact fans, this was actually the second Carry On what he wrote. (Incidentally, I'm sure my Dad drove a Talbot Rothwell for a couple of weeks in the 1970's while he was waiting for his new Ford Cortina.) The regulars on duty here are James, Hawtrey, Connor and Jacques. Esma Cannon and Liz Fraser are the irregulars who get top billing and Bill Owen makes a brief appearance. Cyril Chamberlain makes his last Carry On appearance before retiring to run an antiques shop in Wales. This film also features debuts for Amanda Barrie and Jim Dale, who appear in my favourite Carry On films later in the series. Kenneth Williams misses out here, meaning that Connor and Chamberlain set the pace for consecutive appearances with seven apiece.

The change of scriptwriter brings a change of focus and here the Carry On films move away from "bungling new recruits" theme of much of the earlier films. Now it's the battle of the sexes that concerns us. Sid James spends more time with his cab firm than with his wife, Hattie Jacques, and after one mucked-up anniversary too many, Hattie resolves to find herself a job. A chance meeting leads to her setting up GlamCabs in direct competition to Sid's Speedee Cabs. There's no way Sid's ageing fleet of black cabs and rough-and-ready drivers can compete with the attractive girls driving the swish new Ford Consuls and pretty soon they're resorting to dirty tricks to try to force GlamCabs off the road. All of which fail, of course, because Hattie has got Liz Fraser tipping her off. When Sid finally throws in the towel and faces up to the mysterious owner of GlamCabs, he's devatated to find it's his own wife who has "betrayed" him. They split up and it looks final until Sid redeems himself by mobilising his cabs to rescue Hattie and Liz from a hold-up.

I'll give this 6 out of 10. It's a fairly solid script, and it has the elements of a classic Carry On but it's in black and white and after Carry On Cruising that's a bit of a let-down. On the other hand, you do get Amanda Barrie giving a great turn and it's hard to argue there's anything actually wrong with it. I'll do a list at the end of the month of giving you a guide as to which Carry Ons you must see and which you must avoid and so on, but at the moment this is one that I think you should watch if it's on but don't go out of your way to find it.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Friday 6th June

Carry On Cruising

Hurrah! It's 1962 and it's the first of the Carry Ons in colour. That can only mean it's time to Carry On Cruising. Of the regulars only Williams, Connor and James make it on board the SS Happy Wanderer, although Cyril Chamberlain continues his run of appearances, thereby matching Connor and Williams as the only actor to appear in the first six films of the series. Liz Fraser and Esma Cannon are about as good as you get for irregulars, beyond that we're heading towards the bottom of the bill for the likes of Willoughby Goddard and Ed Devereaux, who both appeared in more than one film. Lance Percival, who seemed to make a career out of turning up in nonsense like this, in fact make his one and only Carry On appearance. Take note though, trivia fans, Ronnie Stevens who plays the drunk passenger (one of my favourite characters, surprisingly) was also one of the narrators for the fantastic Noggin the Nog (Why hasn't that ever been released on DVD?).

One of the other ever-presents in this lot is scriptwriter Norman Hudis, churning out his last, and arguably best, script of the series. Captain Crowther (Sid James) sets sail on a Mediterranean cruise, his last before a promotion to a bigger and better ship, but does so with a handful of new faces replacing key members of his crew. Yes, step forward Connor (ship's doctor), Williams (First Officer), Percival (chef) and Chamberlain (steward). And not only do these new faces have to settle in rather quickly but they also have to deal with some of the strangest passengers too. Of course, Connor doesn't help himself by courting one of the passengers (a definite no-no) but, as with Carry On Sergeant, the chaps find it in themselves to pull together for the Captain's final voyage. Lance Percival's cake for the Captain's farewell dinner is a piece de resistance, but even a concoction containing sardines and spaghetti, amongst other things, can't dampen the Captain's spirits and he turns down the promotion to remain in charge of his band of happy wanderers.

This gets 7 out of 10 - the best of the series so far and with fewer lead characters there's time for all of them to develop their parts and get the most out of the story. You don't notice the absence of regular Carry One-ers and the film rattles on. I don't think there are any duff scenes in it and for me this is one of the Carry Ons that you must see.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Thursday 5th June

Carry On Regardless

Apologies for the poor spelling in yesterday's posting (all corrected now, I hope) but I didn't do it till late in the evening and was pretty much cream-crackered by then. Given that I nodded off twice whilst trying to upload it, I'm surprised that I didn't mangle it a bit more to be honest. Anyway, that out of the way, time to discuss tonight's offering Carry On Regardless.

Probably better known for being a prominent, repeated line in 'Good as Gold' by The Beautiful South, Carry On Regardlass is number five in the series and we've hit the swinging sixties. 1961 to be precise. Made against the backdrop of other film companies apparently trying to cash in on the Carry On phenomenom, Anglo Amalgamated's budget still doesn't stretch to colour film stock or another scriptwriter as Norman Hudis does the honours once again. The regulars on parade here are Williams, Connor, Hawtrey, James, Jacques and Sims, although Hattie Jacques was limited to a minor appearance due to illness. Irregulars include Liz Fraser, (4 films), Terence Longdon and Cyril Chamberlain. A suprising number of familiar faces also pop up in cameo roles (Nicholas Parsons and Charlie from Bergerac to name but two) and there's also the only other Carry On appearance by Fenella Fielding. Boxer Freddie Mills makes his second appearance and Stanley Unwin gets a lead role and the chance to much goobledygook speaky-holen.

Plot? Any pretence of plot has been abandoned for this one There's a running gag with Stanley Unwin repeatedly failing to make himself understood (indeed much confusey-mold of the earyholen aboundens) but that's as close to a plot as it gets. Otherwise, Sid runs the Helping Hands agency - if you've got something you need doing, they've got someone to do it. And because this is a Carry On, they usually muck it up, so cue the comic scenes. From Joan Sims getting drunk at a wine-tasting to Kenneth Williams having trouble with a monkey, to Charles Hawtrey getting involved in a boxing match, the hilarity never starts. Even when they get their assignments mixed up, with predictable consequences, it all seems a bit routine. Perhaps, that's because I have seen this one a fair few times, so I know what's coming next. Or perhaps because, for the first time, I've compared it at close quarters to the other early films and realise how similar they are.

That said, if Nurse and Constables are fives, then this has to get 6 out of 10. You get more bang for your buck in terms of comic set pieces and Stanley Unwin speakalo frankly goobledygook a load and hilarimold is ensued therefore muchly in the following of. Deep Joy.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Wednesday 4th June

Carry On Constable

So here we go, the fourth in the series, Carry On Constable and the third in a year penned by Norman Hudis, who was obviously on something of a roll. Or perhaps on a pay-per-script deal. Released at the end of 1959 or early in 1960, depending on which source you believe, it still has the air of being filmed on a shoestring and the studio are still using Black & White film stock. The regulars in full effect are Williams, Hawtrey, Connor, Jacques and Sims and Sid James makes his debut (the first of 19 appearances, fact fans). Eric Barker and Leslie Phillips do the duties for the irregulars and there's a final appearance for Shirley Eaton, who goes off to do a few other things before getting bumped off in Goldfinger. There's also the first of four Carry On appearances for Esma Cannon, who specialised in playing slightly dotty, old ladies. No real star appearances but there is a cameo by boxer Freddie Mills, who plays a jewel thief.

Gruff Sergeant Wilkins (Sid James) is having a hard time running the police station. Not only does he have to deal with the manipulative Inspector, but half his staff are off because of a flu epidemic. Cue the arrival of Connor, Phillips and Williams straight from training school to help out. They are joined by Hawtrey as the eccentric-slash-camp (shocker!) special constable and by Sims as the ultra-efficient WPC, who's job is to provide the love interest for Connor's superstitious bobby. Needless to say, the four boys get into a right load of trouble, incurring the wrath of the Inspector, who threatens to get Wilkins transferred if he can't maintain order. Luckily, it all turns out alright in the end - the boys prove they are up to the job and the Inspector gets his just desserts. Oh and Sid James gets together with Hattie Jacques, who plays his right-hand woman at the station.

It's not too difficult to see how Norman Hudis could churn out three scripts in a year - once you've got your stock characters, all you need is a setting and the rest writes itself. The comic situations just need to be tailored for setting/profession of the film and the appropriate amount of innuendo inserted (ooh-er!). For example, you could just transplant those characters to, say, a modern call-centre and churn out something fairly close to these early Carry Ons. Although, of course, you'd have to throw in a lot more alcohol and sex to make people watch it. You might have to put some of that stuff in the film too...

Overall, another 5 out of 10. Not a classic by any means, but notable for the first appearance of Lord Sidney of St James and for it's attempt to make the police force the subject of comedy. Something the Police Academy films never managed....

Go on, stick your oar in:

Tuesday 3rd June

Carry On Teacher

It's only Day Three of the CarryOn-athon and already I'm feeling weary. Whether that's down to the films themselves or the fact that, due to a very pleasant day's drinking in Chester on Saturday, I was too hungover on Sunday to implement my plan to watch a few films and get ahead of myself. If I'd managed that I could have the occasional night off and not have to watch each one and then do the write up. My own fault of course, I should have been a good boy and stayed in, but when a young lady invites you out on her birthday, what can you do?

Anyway, here we go, the third in the series, Carry On Teacher. Made in 1959, hot on the heels of Carry On Nurse and the first that was written specifically with a Carry On team in mind. The team consisting of regulars Williams, Connor, Hawtrey, Jacques and Sims supplemented by Leslie Phillips, Ted Ray and Rosalind Knight (who later went on to appear in the fantastically titled 'Can Hieronymous Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?'). Also appearing, in his only Carry On, is Richard O'Sullivan, who made his name appearing alongside Cliff Richard in his movies, and Carol White, who went on to be Cathy in Ken Loach's seminal piece, 'Cathy Come Home' as well as taking the lead in 'Up The Junction', a controversial drama tackling abortion. Honourable mention too for Cyril Chamberlain, in a minor role but appearing in the third of his seven Carry Ons.

The plot of the film is fairly straightforward. Acting headmaster Ted Ray decides that after 20 years and one term at Maudlin Street school he wants a change and is going to apply for the post of Headmaster at a brand new school opening near his home. He gathers his staff together to inform them of his decision. The only possible fly in the ointment is the impending visit of school inspector Rosalind Knight, who is accompanying child psychologist Leslie Phillips on a research trip to the school. If she gives the place a bad report, Ted will never get his dream job. Of course, smart-arse pupil, Richard O'Sullivan overhears all this and rallies the troops to disrupt classes and sabotage the teachers, so that the kids don't lose their beloved teacher. In the midst of all this there's still time for Phillips to hit it off with gym teacher Sims and bumbling science teacher Connor to overcome his nerves and warm up frosty inspector Knight.

It's a feelgood movie because, you know, the kids are behaving outrageously for a perfectly good reason and those dumb teachers get what they deserve. For example, the pompous manner in which Hawtrey and Williams approach the school play, as if it were the highest of high art, means that it's ripe for demolition and sabotage. On the other hand, spiking the staff tea and boobytrapping the staff room are ideas that are just a bit too silly and stretch credulity. Not that the central plot idea doesn't do that anyway, of course.

Overall, it gets 5 out of 10 from me. It's a nice little film with a happy ending but inevitably will suffer comparison with any other school-based comedy, such as the St Trinians film series, for example. Plenty of amusing moments but none that are truly "laugh out loud". On the other hand, there is something strangely alluring about the young Hattie Jacques in schoolma'am drag, wielding a cane. Oh dear, perhaps I've said too much...

Go on, stick your oar in:

Monday 2nd June

Carry On Nurse

The second in the series and the first of the hospital-based capers, Carry On Nurse. The year is 1959 and, like its predecessor, it's filmed in Black and White and made on a shoestring buget. The plot? Well, there isn't one really. It's set in a hospital, there are a series of comic episodes and a little romantic tosh thrown in too and that's it. Based on an idea by Patrick Cargill and Jack Beale, apparently. I reckon their idea was "make a comedy set in a hospital" and that was as far as they got with it.

Regular Carry On-ers here are Williams, Hawtrey, Connor and Jacques and Joan Sims (24 films) makes her first appearance. Of the irregulars, Norman Rossington and Bill Owen from the first film put in an appearance and Shirley Eaton gets the romantic female lead opposite Terence Longdon. This is also Leslie Phillips first outing in a Carry On film and he went on to appear in three more, including Carry On Columbus, which we'll not hold against him even though it was shite. In the first case of obvious stereotyping Hattie Jacques plays the stern Matron (shocker!) and Charles Hawtrey a camp eceentric (shocker number two!). Stars, as such, were Wilfred Hyde-White as a bossy Colonel, who spends all the film running the nurses ragged with trivial requests but gets his comeuppance, and Michael Medwin, who was big at the time.

The problem with this film is that it is just a series of set pieces, without much of a central storyline holding it together. Some the vignettes are funny, some aren't. The patient going loopy, for example, is a bit ropey, but the operating theatre scene, when a drunk Leslie Phillips persuades fellow drunk patient Kenneth Williams to operate on his bunion is pure Carry On gold. And Wilfred Hyde-White's comeuppance is both hilarious and (for it's day) very risque but it almost gets lost at the end of the film.

Overall, this one gets 5 out of 10. It has it's moments but the lack of a central plot to drive the story along means that occasionally it just drifts.

Go on, stick your oar in:

Sunday 1st June

Carry On Sergeant

So, here we go - the first of the series. The one that started it all. Carry On Sergeant. Based on the novel The Bull Boys by R F Delderfield, fact fans. It's a simple tale of civilians called up for National Service and transforming themselves from a ragtag bunch of no-hopers into a champion platoon. And all because the gruff sergeant charged with training them has bet fifty quid he can turn out a champion platoon before he retires. There's also a sub-plot based on one recruit being called up on his wedding day, but to be honest, that fizzles out about halfway through the film.

As it's the first in the series, it'd be a bit much to claim that there are any regulars in the cast but of the usual suspects Kenneth Williams (25 films), Charles Hawtrey (23), Hattie Jacques (14) and Kenneth Connor (17) are in there. Other irregulars include Eric Barker, Norman Rossington and Terry Scott, who makes a brief appearance and then has to wait ten years before he appears in another Carry On film. The top billing though goes to William Hartnell, Bob Monkhouse and Shirley Eaton. Hartnell plays the gruff Sgt. Grimshaw, ably assisted by Bill Owen (Compo in Last of the Summer Wine) as Corporal Coppin. Monkhouse and Eaton play the harshly-parted newly-weds.

So that's (some of) the facts about the film, but the key question I suppose, is 'Is it any good?' Well, seekers of cheap innuendo, saucy-postcard-smut and acres of cleavage will be sadly disappointed. This one belongs to a gentler age. It's a light, comedy, less sophisticated than the Ealing comedies of a few years previous but with a good heart at the centre of it. The plot and story are fairly simplistic and the resolution is a bit glib and slick for my liking, but it is genuinely amusing. It might not make you laugh out loud but it will help you while away a rainy Sunday afternoon. (Well, it did for me!)

Overall, I'd give it 6/10. Not a "classic" Carry On, but a decent little film in it's own right.

Go on, stick your oar in: